Air Date: November 2, 2008

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The Meaning of Light: Let’s personalize this definition. Let’s Insert “I”, “Me” and “My” into dictionary phrases and create a new Paragraph.

When I am in the light I can naturally be an agent to make things visible. I am a window that is bright and pale yet not dark. This creates little weight in my life and I am gentle. I am easy and life requires little effort. I have a fire (my passion and my pain) inside.


When you've been in the dark for a long while, and a light comes on, it can be uncomfortable and actually hurt your eyes at first. Your natural impulse may be to squint and try to block some of the light. This is also true of spiritual, mental and emotional light, or otherwise known as truth.

As I have become clearer and let my self-beat go, I can “see” people with my spirit’s eyes, instead of using my ego’s judgments. My ego compares. My spirit connects. My ego judges! My spirit understands!


Self-discovery is letting go of the ego. That means letting go of money, family, careers, desires. Experiencing opposite lifestyles, releases judgment. It is through the dropping of the judgment of others that we stop judging ourselves and can see ourselves in truth..... good, bad and ugly, talented, smart with no ego drive, but with curiosity and a willingness to know and understand more and evolve out of where we are in the NOW!

Do you know the difference between inspiration and drive?

Do you have a desire to find a path of understanding and depth for everyone, not just for yourself?

Can we begin to search for a meaningful process rather than a momentary high or replacement of suffering with more suffering?

Is suffering a state of mind?

Do you live in a world in a superficial existence? What does this actually mean?

What is it like living in denial or self unawareness, unenlightened of the soul? The body, for this lifetime, must have something to learn from the body. So both body and soul should be cherished. Our spiritual and human characteristics should be celebrated, not denied.



Do We Need to Lose Everything in Order to Know Anything?

Universal Fear is the experience of loss, confusion and darkness. It is a hopeless feeling and loses insight and therefore sees no way out. Stubborn enters trying to give you a sense of self, but it’s a false self because it is derived on righteousness versus understanding and truth. This puts us in a survivor’s mode living to escape in addiction, obsession, crime, fights, rape, over spending and then mentally living in blame with no change from our own thinking, feelings and actions. The goal of blame is to hide from truth and destroy understanding.

Now suppose Universal Faith enters? That means we start honoring and embracing differences without judgment and projection of our beliefs. But in our over busy, addictive, controlling minds do we fear peace? Is Peace boring?

Deprivation often does enable people to “let go” of judgment, self-beat, and ultimately, control. For example, some people learn how to “let go” while passing through a near-death experience. Why?

Experiencing deprivation takes away egotistical desire and, therefore, the need for control. It is a way to “kill” the ego. It may only be a kind of egotistical death, but it is an experience of death. The “near-ego-death” experience of deprivation does show people how to let go.


A monk has been taught to thoroughly understand pain. Knowing and understanding pain so clearly, the monk had been able to achieve peace of mind from inside himself. No earthly experience could change this. If he was living in his spirit energy, possessing no ego desires, he becomes immune to the loss of integrity that we often experience with physical pleasure and pain.

The more our psyche understands our animal side, the deeper inside us the soul can “see” and understand itself.

Siddartha said:
All human life is suffering (dhukka).
All suffering is caused by human desire.
Human suffering can be ended by ending human desire.
Desire can be ended by following the Eightfold Noble Path:

Let’s personalize this word Suffering. Add “I”, “Me” and “My”.

Suffering means undergoing or sustaining myself as I’m experiencing life. I endure what I permit.

So does suffering mean “to experience?” The question is: How are we experiencing and perceiving what we are experiencing?


Desire means what I wish for; I am requesting and longing for because I have an appetite for.

So does it matter if desire is feeding your ego or spirit?


Being Right means to be comfortable with a justice and morality in accordance with the truth. If I am appropriate and most favorable. I am satisfied with my condition. So I am in good health because I have order.

Doesn’t right sound like having an “acceptance of truth as we are creating of in the body, mind, heart and soul,” aligning yourself in order of your realms? (Realms Video on the web site and in the book, Invisible Warfare.)
So let’s restate the Buddhist principles in light of these understandings and clear it further:

1. All human life is an experience.
2. Learning experiences are caused by ego drives and spiritual inspirations.
3. Suffering is a perception of ego drives or failures. The acceptance of all truth aligns with the order of your realms.
4. The egotistical life can be ended by following the Eightfold Noble Path with truth and acceptance added:


• Acceptance of truth creating clarity from understanding.
• Acceptance of truth creating clarity of thought.
• Acceptance of truth creating clarity in speech.
• Acceptance of truth creating clarity of action.
• Acceptance of truth creating clarity of livelihood.
• Acceptance of truth creating clarity in our effort.
• Acceptance of truth creating clarity for mindfulness.
• Acceptance of truth creating clarity for concentration.

Dharma consists of the duties, such as those in the Eightfold Path, that are required by the Hindu code of behavior. Living according to Dharma involves trusting that the way things are right now are the way things will always be in the universe and in nature. In other words, “What is, is.”

From a metaphorical standpoint, everything in the universe is connected. Everything has energy and has an effect on everything else. Nature, animals, air, people, and inanimate objects are all made of energy and each has an impact on the other. Truth of nature cannot change; nothing in essence ever really changes. Therefore, the idea is that energy just moves around. Could this be what the yin/yang concept is saying as well?

The idea was to live with no care and no worry, and to let go of the insecure and arrogant battles of the ego by living and loving the truth through the understanding of all truths. But, because truth is a “God-word,” we need.......

An Awakening of the Soul's Energy

Rules:

1. Wake our inner selves from a shutdown and inner sleep.
2. Choose to “see” all truths without judgment.
3. Stimulate our confusion and become comfortable with not knowing.
4. Awaken from our personal trances.
5. Break patterns.
6. Feel and process rather than avoid.
7. Know our past and present selves.
8. Know our spirit and animal selves.
9. Rinse. (feeling release paper)
10. Think and speak in questions; then answer each question, only to ask another question.
11. Stop repeating untruthful and unloving thoughts, feelings, words and actions.
12. Change our self-talk and beliefs with conscious awareness.
13. Stop punishing and condemning ourselves and others.
14. Own.
15. Connect to our psyche, intuition, and telepathic minds.

1. Can failure be a part of leadership? How?
2. How have you failed in the past? How did it make you feel?
3. What did you learn?


So much empowerment is in these choices. People living in poverty, shame, guilt were often too beaten down spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, and financially to understand the concept of empowerment. They knew about the powerful/powerless dynamic, and that was it. What is empowerment?
Did poverty mean failure? Shame? Why? Does a person's beliefs, integrity and deeds matter?

When compassion and wisdom mix with inner strength through the acceptance of truth, anything and everything becomes possible.

Can you communicate through acts of centered resistance? Can you believe in truth, love, and understanding and not condemn or “fight back” as others had attempted in the past?

When you "own" and refuse to fight back, others are forced to “see” themselves and their own behavior. You have nothing to prove or teach.

When anyone participates in a fight, the “good guy” “bad guy” images become distorted. Everyone fighting begins to look the same. Who is right and who is wrong is blurred by all the pain and fighting. When truth surfaces, love re-emerges. When the fight is over, all that remains hopefully is understanding.


Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Asking Questions


Asking a question instead of making a statement opens us and those we are communicating with to think and feel from within ourselves. It keeps control and projection out of the conversation. For example, instead of saying to yourself, “I feel depressed,” ask yourself “How do I feel?” “Why do I feel this way?” “When did this start and why?”

A question creates a way for people to “check-in” with themselves. A statement can cause arguments, defensiveness and debate.

Questions cause a check-in of thought and feelings for the purpose of understanding if your energy is open and not aggressive.

If you would like to be understood by someone, remember, that person must understand him—or herself first. Don't ask questions of someone until you have rinsed and checked-in with yourself and can hold a center in case the person answering your questions attacks or hurts your feelings. Careful!

If I am looking in the mirror and you stand in front of me, who am I seeing? You, that’s who. If I am to see and understand myself, get out of my way and let me see myself. Every time you are reactive or controlling, I cannot see myself, I see you.


Many rich, powerful and famous people feel alarmed and cautious concerning the word“limelight.” The limelight brings out the “See-Saw Game.” The light turns green because of the unevolved, egotistical perception of adoration. Judging, self-beating, selfless and envious people will judge the “limelight” person as the limelight person may judge him- or herself as being someone inferior or superior. This creates great pain for all involved. People who judge are not owning their issues, feelings and behaviors or they would not judge so harshly. Neither would they so adoringly praise themselves or others.

Lime = green and envious
Light = seer

Being in the limelight means to be “seen” with green envy.
It is very easy for this light to be used in egotistical ways.

How are you using the “Light”?

When a person first starts to think that he or she has won the battle between spirit and ego, ego is still in control. This opinion creates moral superiority.


Let’s put these two definitions together, and personalize them with the word “I,” “me” and “my.” Ready?
When I am moral I perform the right conduct or duties. I’m ethical, virtuous, and chaste because I’m discriminating between right and wrong with a verified reason or probability that I know the underlining meaning of mine and everyone else’s story or fables.

And if I am superior, I am higher in place, position, and rank than everyone else. I am of quality, surpassing others. I’m above because I go beyond. I have power to influence, and I’m too dignified to be affected by anything. This creates snobbery.

Still want to be moral or morally superior? The desire is clearly ego-driven, and the attitude is that of a controller. Because we feel powerless inside, we act powerful on the outside. Fear is the motivator of arrogance and high ego. And don’t think it doesn’t show.

We can’t fight darkness.
We can’t conquer darkness.
We can only understand how darkness works
and allow the fear around the darkness to dissipate.

If someone in the darkness challenges you and you play into his or her pain and defense mechanisms, his or her darkness will follow and manifest within you. Standing “in” your truth with boundaries lets you understand that person and yourself. This is all the strength you need. Believe me, this is easier said than done. Try it.



Do not let people who are off center throw you off center. If you hold your center, you give them a chance to find their own center. This is called holding the “light” while someone is triggered and in the “dark.” We all need this support sometimes. If you do this consistently, it’s amazing how many people will be able to do it for you as well. They learn by watching you, not obeying you. They do not learn when you preach or shove it down their throats.


I am grateful for Moses, Jesus, Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi and Mohammed because each of them challenged the worlds previously held perceptions and helped us to “see” beyond what we “know.”






Being in the “light” is seeing truth effortlessly. When the light of truth is seen there is no struggle. There is clarity. If you mix this clarity with your psyche, you can subconsciously develop clairvoyance, the ultimate of “seeing” truth in all time zones, past, present, and future.

In the beginning stages of an awakening, you will see and feel what you do not like or understand. That is the journey. Just know this is a stage, it is not forever. Anyone understanding an awakening of a soul knows this journey.

For balance, our reflex is to flip from one side to the opposite side. Two opposites of the same are still out of balance. You must understand and unite these opposites to find the middle balance. It is through the understanding of yourself and your opposites that you will have the “in-sight” to find the middle for your own balance.

Move through an earthly struggle by holding onto truth with no reactions or judgments. How brave, yet simple. Happiness is not the goal here. Freedom from judgment by understanding all perceptions of truth is the goal. Happiness is an outcome, not the goal.

Truth, even if masked as failure, is guiding you through life’s lessons to arrive at your soul’s purpose if you don't quit and lose faith along the way.

Asking questions, openly with no control, creates deep understanding and wisdom. This vision is enlightening, “My being (spirit) is in the light, so I can “see,” rather than judge and project.

Poverty is violence because it changes you to a state of survival that can process and overwhelm you, turning you into someone you abhor. Could poverty have been the culprit of abuse in the beginning of time?

If anger, fear, guilt, shame or jealousy hit the light, it becomes a limelight consisting of an invisible vibe and warfare between low and high egos. This sets up moral superiority and religious or righteous teachings. A spiritual leader attaches no ego to truth, wisdom and insights. A spiritualist just “is” and sees “what is.” No judgment, care, worry or control allowed!

Show Air Date: October 26, 2008

With Special Guests:

Jymie Darling

&

Richard Carradine

Jymie is an Occult Expert and Owner of Panpipes Magikal Store
(See below for more information on her store)
She is an expert in the fields of occult philosophies and will explain the terminology of Occult (belief in the unknown). So the word Occult is a blanket umbrella term for any and all religions. Jymie has a specific understanding in Paganism, another blanket term that refers to any religion outside the five mainstream religions. This is a chance for, you, the listener to ask any questions that you may have regarding pagan religions.

Richard is the co-founder of Ghost Hunters of Urban Los Angeles (GHOULA) and has investigated ghosts from all over the world, (Canada, Scotland, England, Wales, Austria, Czech Republic, and Slovenia) and throughout the United States (Florida, California, New York, Louisiana, Virginia, and Montana). In California alone, he has investigated over 200 haunted locations, including all 23 missions. (See below for more information on Richard)





Halloween is on October 31st, the last day of the Celtic calendar. It was the end-of-summer festival. It was originally a pagan holiday, honoring the dead. Halloween was referred to as All Hallows Eve and dates back to over 2000 years ago.

Halloween has always been a holiday filled with mystery; mysterious means there is a subject matter or a person not understood logically and this often leads us into hysteria creating additional fear factors.

Magic is an illusion or an actual substance that's base comes from invisibility or non-understanding sometimes showing itself visibly, sometimes not.

What about superstition? If I can get you to believe that a black cat will bring you bad luck, then you will lose inner confidence and I can control you through your loss of self just by placing a black cat in your path. "Hear me screech right about now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Superstition is often mind over matter based in fear and the sense of being out of control.


There are several origins to this concept, again mostly Irish. An old Irish peasant practice called for going door to door to collect money, bread cake, cheese, eggs, butter, nuts, apples, etc., in preparation for the fall festival.

Yet another custom was the begging for soul cakes, many people would offer things for one’s self – for the exchange for a promise or wish, prosperity or protection against bad luck.

Notice the superstition belief system creating rituals for the feeling of control when people were in a situation that they didn’t understand therefore felt out of control.

It is with this custom the concept of the fairies came to be incorporated as people used to go door to door begging for treats. Failure to supply the treats would usually result in practical jokes being visited on the owner of the house.

P.S. Since I gave treats why did my friends still pull practical jokes on me? Maybe that’s why I got rid of them in my life. Miss you old friends! Ha ha ha

The Celts believed the souls of the dead roamed the streets and villages at night. Since not all spirits were thought to be friendly, gifts and treats were left out to pacify the evil and ensure next year’s crops would be plentiful. This custom evolved into trick-or-treating.

See the ritual developed as a way to self soothe the fear from the unknown. Most don’t understand the soul dimension because it is again, invisible, and hard to prove.

When people wanted to feel close to deceased relatives and friends they would set places at the dinner table for them. Leave treats on doorsteps. Along the side of the road they would light candles to help their loved ones find their way back to the spirit world.

Sometimes it just feels better to do something when you have such big feelings with so much hopelessness attached. It is through the understanding of Death and Darkness we all will understand how to truly live and be in Light. Avoiding, denying, being afraid of these energies does not make them go away.



Orange and black are Halloween colors because orange is associated with the Fall harvest and black is associated with darkness and death.

Jack o’ lanterns originated in Ireland where people placed candles in hollowed-out turnips to keep away spirits and ghosts on the Samhain holiday.

Pumpkins also come in white, blue, and green. Great for unique monster carvings!

Halloween was brought to North America by immigrants from Europe who would celebrate the harvest around a bonfire, share ghost stories, sing, dance, and tell fortunes.

Halloween candy sales average about 2 billion dollars annually in the United States.

Halloween is the 2nd most commercially successful holiday, with Christmas being the first.

Bobbing for apples is thought to have originated from the roman harvest festival that honors Pamona, the goddess of fruit trees.

Black cats were once believed to be witch's familiars who protected their powers. (See the word belief followed by a ritual for a self soothing action.)

The Ouija Board ended up outselling the game of Monopoly in its first full year at Salem. Over two million copies of the Ouija Board were shipped.



See some more rituals for self soothing regarding the invisible world and many other things we do not understand. We have been taught to look out for soothing and help, not in.

Garlic (Allium Sativum) has been used as a charm against evil and dates back to Ancient times. The ancient Egyptians believed in a Vampire-like ghost that killed sleeping children by sucking up their breath. (Could this be infant death syndrome or a cat?) The protection that was used against the attacks of this murderous monster was a wreath of garlic.

The use of garlic is known all over the world, not only as a tasty accent to foods, but also in places such as China or Malaysia, Romania and in the West Indies where people smear the forehead of their children with garlic to protect them from Vampires. Garlic is used as a means of protection against the evil practices and Magical Spells of Witches and Sorcerers.

If a deceased person was thought to be in danger of becoming a Vampire, one common protective measure was stuffing some pieces of garlic into the orifices of the corpse, especially the mouth. This was done in order to prevent evil spirits from entering the dead body.

In some cultures people would simply wear a necklace of garlic cloves for protection against evil. Any way you look at it.... garlic is believed to be a major source of protection from evil.

Now I am going to tell you about another belief of garlic.
How about taking odor free Garlic tablets every night before going to bed? Maybe taking garlic at night would be a good idea so you do not worry about burping up garlic during the day. Garlic boosts the immune system...

Garlic can lower your cholesterol and unclog your arteries. It will shrink cancerous tumors and keep cancer out of your body. Now don't wait till you get sick or have cancer to start taking it..... Start now! And see you life improve.

Here are the benefits that are shown from studies:
• Lowers blood pressure a little.
• Lowers LDL Cholesterol a little.
• Helps reduce arteriosclerotic buildup (plaque) within the arterial system. One recent study shows this effect to be greater in women than men.
• Lowers or helps to regulate blood sugar.
• Helps to prevent blood clots from forming, thus reducing the possibility of strokes and thromboses (It may not be good for hemophiliacs).
• Helps to prevent cancer, especially of the digestive system, prevents certain tumors from growing larger, and reduces the size of certain tumors.
• Helps to remove heavy metals such as lead and mercury from the body.
• Raw Garlic is a potent natural antibiotic and, while far less strong than modern antibiotics, can still kill some strains of bacteria that have become immune or resistant to modern antibiotics.
• Has anti-fungal and anti-viral properties.
• Dramatically reduces yeast infections due to Candida species.
• Has anti-oxidant properties and is a source of selenium.
• Probably has many other benefits as well.
So is Garlic really for warding off evil spirits or the out of balances in our systems?

Halloween Ritual!

All Hallows Eve is the evening before All Saints Day, which was created by Christians to convert pagans, Christians celebrate on November 1st. The Catholic Church honored saints on this designated day.

Saints are souls that are of the dead too. Saints are meant to help us from the other dimension to feel safe and aid us. The Spirit World and praying or chanting to the dead is a ritual in most if not all religions Don't we all have different rituals for death or celebrations of life when someone passes?

Is the Spirit World only associated with the idea of witches? The fact is many religions pray or do rituals to connect to acquainted souls or Ancestral spirits or souls known as leaders according to their belief system? Careful Catholics, Christians, Muslims and many others, you too, believe in this other dimension of life. How many times have you prayed to saints, the Virgin Mary, Jesus, Mohammed, or The God in the sky? Let’s understand this to release the fears and judgments of rituals that we have not ever even visited. The question is… who is holding the power regarding the rituals and prayer? Is your heart of light and love or domination and slavery under righteous one way thinking?

As the Christian debate goes on, whether Halloween is an evil holiday, Halloween is often celebrated with no reference to pagan rituals or the occult.

Just as Money is not dangerous but whose hands the money is in could be dangerous.

"Witchcraft, or Wicca, is considered part of the occult, but has little relationship to Satanism. Wicca is pagan (pre-Christian, as opposed to anti-Christian) and is currently gaining popularity."

"Witches do not worship the devil...Witches are more interested in magical arts and the divinity of nature...Wiccans are considered pagans because they worship several nature gods instead of a single god."

This is similar to African tribe worship and Native American shamanism. It is nature that affects most people living off the land so that is where they try to connect through studying the environment, worshiping in prayer while using rituals to control, or align themselves. So can you see where this feels like God to them?

If the belief is of rewards and punishment and this attaches to nature then the acts of nature becomes a loving or angry god. These cultures and tribes are the very people that began some of the best holistic healing remedies known to man.


One view of Black magic would be to invoke to kill, injure, to cause misfortune or destruction, or for personal gain without regard to harmful consequences to others.

As a term, "black magic" is normally used to describe a form of ritual that some groups or persons do but does not mean it is approved of. Not everything that is called black magic truly has evil intentions behind it. Actually, some see the study of Black magic or darkness the path to Light and Healing.

Through the understanding of the dark or black magic lies the first step to dropping the fear of Darkness and the beginning of understanding “It’s” existence and purpose. Through this understanding we evolve into depth and wisdom.

(The Ocean is dark because it’s deep you know.)

It is through the study of Black magic that they find antidotes for killing off diseases or pests. It is their form of scientific study to see what antidotes work or not. Don’t modern medicine labs use rats and other animals for this same goal?

Black magic or dark magic is a form of sorcery that draws on malevolent powers. It may be used for dark purposes or malevolent acts that deliberately cause harm in some way. It is alternatively spelt with a 'k' (magick). This term is also known as the dark arts of magic and the dark side of magic.

All as One: All forms of magic are evil, or black magic.
This view generally associates black magic with Satanism. The persons that maintain this opinion include those belonging to most branches of Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and Hinduism.

Gnostic Luciferian: Dark Magic and Dark Arts refer to work involving the estranged, twisted, and forgotten aspects of nature and of our inner self.

(In other words finding and processing our lost or disowned parts that reside in every individual.)

If every good man knew he was bad and every bad man knew he was good, would we find harmony and peace through the understanding of both dark and light?

An evil intent is not necessarily present in the Dark Magician. The Dark Arts are also a set of methods for pursuing genuine self-knowledge and mental emancipation. In modern language there is a book called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. This books goal is to teach the understanding of each human beings dark side to go through the valley of darkness to find the Light. Not under it, conquer it or avoid it!

Dark Doctrine: Black magic refers to the powers of darkness and its opposite white magic. This depends again on the belief system of the leader otherwise known as the sorcerer. If the sorcerer's acceptance of dualism is with truth and compassion and not power or domination, this doctrine is similar to the Eastern philosophy of yin and yang.

Formal Differences: The forms and components of black magic are not the same due to the different aims or interests of those casting harmful spells than those of white. Harmful spell casting tends to include symbolism which seems hazardous or harmful to human beings, such as sharp, pointed, prickly, caustic, and hot element(s) combined with very personal objects from the spell's target (their hair, blood, mementos, etc.). This distinction is primarily observable in folk magic, but pertains to other types of magic also.


pa•gan (pgn)
1. One who is not a Christian, Muslim, or Jew, especially a worshiper of a polytheistic religion.
2. One who has no religion.
3. A hedonist
4. An Outsider
5. Hick or country bumpkin (which resembles my lineage)

Each of our religious or cultural terms has so many meanings that they often cause misunderstandings wherever they are used.

Unfortunately, most people do not know this, and naturally assume that the meaning that they have been taught is universally accepted. A reader must often look at the context in which the word is used in order to guess at the intent of the writer.

Before you judge really go and understand the person or situation you are judging with a goal to understand. Don’t try to understand while cynical.

Traditions usually have a practical explanation for its existence.

To be Wiccan is to worship the Goddess which is the Earth. Don’t we call The Earth “Mother Earth”? This Goddess has a companion the Horned God. The Horned God represents the Sky and therefore Father. In many religions Sky represents God. Wiccans follow the philosophies, ethics, and practices of the Old Religion.

Originally rooted in Paganism. Wicca existed long before Christianity and long before the Church was founded.
Wild of nature is their spiritual Father “the Horned God”. Which means that they esteem nature and the planet on which they live as their source of energy and power?

If we, as an evolving world, stopped fearing and judging some of the religions and cultures different than our own, would we be better with the nurturing of the Earth and each other as individuals, honoring these differences that could teach us more about ourselves?

Mean, hateful, hurtful practices of any culture or religion are not to be tolerated but that is not what the original intent is in most practices. It is when we abuse each other for being different and not understanding these differences that we invoke the vindictive, reactive, protective retaliations. So are our judgments the very thing that feeds and creates the Dark?

Would we be more respectful of life in general? Everyone and everything has a message. But when we are judging and frightened we miss the depth of the message. These religions originated as some of the best healers using what they know of the meditative mind and earth’s natural agents. If they are of pure mind and heart they venture not to harm anyone or anything. They see everyone in the world as their brothers and sisters with an equal right to exist. Wicca is a tradition that works to harm no one in thought, word, or deed. Therefore, anyone who says they are a witch, but works otherwise should not be considered an authentic Wiccan practitioner.

Witchcraft is still the only spiritual tradition that raises the female above the male, in contrast to patriarchal religions such as Christianity and Judaism. They venerate an almighty male deity, with little positive mention of the female at all. This is why God is represented by Goddess.

The moral values are associated with feminine spiritual powers – this is a metaphor for such things as love, peace, and joy – rather than the more masculine religious attitudes of domination, strength, and authority. Witches work by peaceful means, seeking to unite rather than to divide, to be of service to our communities, and to be the healers, counselors, and guides of all life on Earth. This is because they see themselves as the children of the Goddess and the Horned God that they honor.

Wiccans have been persecuted throughout the ages, as well as thousands of innocent people. The Salem Witch Trials were arguably the most well-known trials concerning witchcraft. So many innocent people died due to fear of the unknown. People are afraid of someone having power over their lives as we are constantly dominating each other in every culture anyway. Yet, witchcraft is not a religion based on power, nor does it try to seize control over or turn other people to their way. Many of these witches are homeopaths and holistic healers who believe in the Earth and its resources to heal all of mankind.

Witches and accused witches were persecuted for hundreds of years, until, in 1951, the law in England was rewritten because of a Wiccan High Priest named Gerald B. Gardner. While employed as a civil servant, he decided to declare his religious preference – Witchcraft. He demonstrated a ritual to the Parliament and explained the nature of his worship so they would realize that his religion was not about demons, destruction, and sacrifice. Wicca was portrayed in its nature: the peaceful worship of the Goddess, Earth, and Sky in all living things.

Earth, Humanity, Animal, and Life beings are to be treated fairly and equally.

The Parliament declared Witchcraft a legal religion. In 1953, Gerald B. Gardner petitioned his right to coven, and that right was also declared legal.

The Taoist philosophy of yin and yang, and "embodiments of a life-force manifest in nature. The God is sometimes symbolized as the sun, and the Goddess as the moon. Wicca is essentially an immanent religion, and for some Wiccans, this idea also involves elements of animism. A key belief in Wicca is that the Goddess and the God (or the goddesses and gods) are able to manifest in personal form, most importantly through the bodies of Priestesses and Priests via the rituals of Drawing down the Moon or Drawing down the Sun. This is a type of channeling. This too is in most religious rituals.

Many Wiccans also seek to cultivate a set of eight virtues mentioned in Doreen Valiente's Charge of the Goddess,these being mirth, reverence, honor, humility, strength, beauty, power and compassion. These are the beliefs of many religions, are they not?

Handfasting is another celebration held by Wiccans, and is the commonly used term for their weddings. Some Wiccans observe the practice of a trial marriage for a year and a day, which some traditions hold should be contracted on Lammas (Lughnasadh), as this was the traditional time for trial, "Telltown marriages" among the Irish. A common marriage vow in Wicca is "for as long as love lasts" instead of the traditional Christian "till death do us part".

Wiccaning

Infants in Wiccan families may be involved in a ritual called a Wiccaning, which is analogous to a Christening/Baptism. The purpose of this is to present the infant to the God and Goddess for protection. Despite this, in accordance with the importance put on free will in Wicca, the child is not necessarily expected or required to follow a Pagan path should they not wish to do so when they get older.

In other words, they are disowned and free to follow their inner self.

Book of Shadows

In Wicca a private journal or core religious text known as a Book of Shadows is kept by practitioners, similar to a grimoire used by magicians. In lineaged groups, such as Gardnerian Wicca, the Book's contents are kept secret from anyone but the members of the lineage concerned (i.e., those initiating and initiated by a particular coven). However, several proposed versions of the Book have been published. Sections of these published versions, such as the "Wiccan Rede" and the "Charge of the Goddess", as well as other published writings about Wicca, have been adopted by non-initiates, or eclectic Wiccans. For many eclectics, they create their own personal books, whose contents are often only known by themselves.

Triple Goddess symbol of waxing, full and waning moon

Symbols

Various different symbols are used by Wiccans, similar to the use of the crucifix by Christians or the Star of David by Jews. The most notable of these is the pentagram, which has five points, each representing one of the five classical elements in Wicca (earth, air, fire, water, and spirit) and also the idea that the human, with its five appendages, is a microcosm of the universe. Other symbols that are used include the triquetra and the triple moon symbol of the Triple Goddess.

Sacred texts

In Wicca there is no set sacred text such as the Christian Bible or Islamic Qur'an, but there are various texts that were contained in Gerald Gardner's Book of Shadows. Many of these texts he claimed to have at least partially rewritten, since the rituals of the group into which he was initiated were fragmentary. The most notable among these is the Charge of the Goddess, which contained material from Charles Godfrey Leland's Aradia, or the Gospel of the Witches (1899) and the works of 19th-20th century occultist Aleister Crowley. Other texts which are important to Wiccan beliefs and rituals include Eko Azarak and the Wiccan laws.

Casting the circle may involve the invocation of the "Guardians" of the cardinal points: East (Air), South (Fire), West (Water) and North (Earth). This use of the classical elements is a key feature of the Wiccan world-view. Once the circle is cast, a seasonal ritual may be performed, prayers to the God and Goddess are said, and spells are sometimes worked. Spells are based on tangible things with prayer thoughts that mixed together and meditated upon and sent in chants out into the open air. Similar to incense, prayer, song from monks, Muslims and Hindu chants sent out into the air. See????????? It’s about mind over matter and the art of Karma or the the very well known Law of Attraction as taught in “The Secret”. These concepts are also based on witchcraft/magical principals.

Many Wiccans use a special set of magical tools in their rituals. These can include a broom (besom), cauldron, chalice, wand, Book of Shadows, altar cloth, athame, boline, candles, crystals, pentacle, and/or incense. An altar is usually present in the circle, on which ritual tools are placed and representations of the God/Goddess may be displayed. This has similar qualities of Christianity, Catholism, Judiasm and many others.

Before entering the circle, some traditions fast for the day, and/or ritually bathe. After a ritual has finished, the God, Goddess and Guardians are thanked and the circle is closed.

Do Witch Spells Really Work?

An understandable question! As for someone new or unfamiliar with witchcraft, it can seem all very daunting and mystical. And witches do like to keep an air of mystery. (In fact it has also been necessary to keep a low profile due to the misinformation and misunderstanding about true witchcraft aka WHITE witchcraft).

Witchcraft spells can in fact originate from many different cultures. Most do not realize that there is some form of witchcraft in just about every culture and religion - ancient and modern. For the modern day, and a lot of the self help, personal development techniques are in fact witchcraft spells. It's just for many it's more palatable to hear the word 'self help' than 'witchcraft'. This is all useful background for you to become more comfortable with the idea of witchcraft. This group is in hiding because of threats to hurt them. This hiding keeps witchcraft more upsetting and scary. True Witchcraft only comes from an open, loving heart space. It adheres to the number one principal of 'and harm ye none' and NEVER divines against another’s free will - meaning that you do not cast a spell to make someone do what you want. Witchcraft works with the energies of the universe - based on the principal of like attracts like. (The Secret, Karma, and Heaven and Hell )

You cast a spell to attract into your life the experience you want to have. This could be called manifestation.

The "Triangle of Solomon" also known as the "Triangle of the Art”

The Triangle of Solomon is used in conjunction with the Magic Circle. It is used in the Conjuring of the Demonic or Celestial/Angelic spirits. It is in this Triangle that they will appear and are forced to obey. Because it has 3 Sacred names of God - Tetragrammaton, Primeumaton, and Anaphaxeton one on each side and it has the name (Archangel Michael) which is split into 3 sections MI - CHA - EL. This contains the spirit from escaping and compels them to obey. This does not mean in every case they are going to obey you. Fresh Blood of a Sacrificed animal in the Triangle to attract the Demon kind, like a vampire. The Triangle can be found in the Manuscript "The Goetia" also known as "The Lesser Key of Solomon the King". Once again it is one of the most important tools in the Conjuring of Spirits. Those whom have not developed this ability will have no success. This takes much practice to develop your Astral Vision and Psychic Senses.




The Left-Hand Path and Right-Hand Path are a dichotomy between two opposing belief systems.
Modern definitions of "Right-Hand Path" elevate spirituality, the strict observance of moral codes, and the worship of deities.
Conversely, the "Left-Hand Path" belief systems value the advancement and preservation of the self, as well as the pursuit of terrestrial goals.

The term Left-Hand Path originates from Hindu Tantra.
Throughout history, many cultures have regarded left-handedness as evil. The left hand has often symbolized the rejection of traditional religion.

It is possible that this division also derives from the practice of using the left hand for purposes of personal hygiene after defecation in some cultures, rendering the left hand "unclean." The two paths are viewed by Tantrists as equally valid approaches to enlightenment.

Some see the two Paths as equally valid approaches to truth, whose relationship is akin to the balance between Yin and Yang, while others criticize the Right-Hand Path as being too restrictive.

According to the latter view, the Right-Hand Path's imposition of formal dogmas and codes of behavior impede individual decision-making, making it possible for one to avoid responsibility for one's own life, with a consequent loss of individuality.

Right-Hand Path belief systems generally share the following properties:

• Belief in a higher power, such as a deity.
• Obedience to the will of a higher power.
• The belief that there is an absolute definition of good and evil that applies to everyone.
• Esoteric belief in a supernatural mechanism like Karma, divine retribution, or the Threefold Law, which entails the assessment of moral decisions made in one's lifetime.
• Eschatological beliefs, resulting to salvation for some and to damnation for others.
• The ultimate goal of merging the individual consciousness into a greater or cosmic whole.

Left-Hand Path belief systems generally share the following properties:

• The conviction that individuals can become akin to gods. The ultimate goal is separating consciousness from the universe, rather than being absorbed by it.
• The conviction that there is no such thing as a selfless act. Fulfilling one's desire is acknowledged to be selfish, at the least reaping an individual sense of satisfaction. Altruism is considered self-deception, created, and fostered by conventional religions.
• An exoteric interpretation of concepts like karma, divine retribution, or the Threefold Law, resulting in flexible rather than rigid codes of morality.
• The conviction that the individual is preeminent, and that all decisions should be made with the goal of cultivating the self (though not necessarily the ego).
• The conviction that each individual is responsible for his or her own happiness, and that no external force will provide salvation or reward actions which do not advance one's own happiness in this life.
• The conviction that the forces of the universe can be harnessed to one's personal will by magical means, and that power gained and wielded in such a manner is an aid to enlightenment, to self-satisfaction, and to self-deification.
• A Platonic view of deities as "first-forms." If deity is perceived as having consciousness, then all relationships with the deity are in the form of a partnership, or an alliance which does not require subservience. Some practitioners of Left-Hand Path belief systems summarize this concept with the statement that "prideful deities like prideful partners."


The word occult comes from the Latin word occultus (clandestine, hidden, secret), referring to "knowledge of the hidden".One of it’s meanings is "knowledge of the paranormal", as opposed to "knowledge of the measurable". Usually referred to as science.

The term is sometimes popularly taken to mean "knowledge meant only for certain people" or "knowledge that must be kept hidden", but for most practicing occultists it is simply the study of a deeper spiritual reality that extends beyond pure reason and the physical sciences.

Occultism is the study of occult or hidden wisdom. To the occultist it is the study of "Truth", a deeper truth that exists beneath the surface: 'The truth is always hidden in plain sight'. It can involve such subjects as magic or magick, extra-sensory perception, astrology, spiritualism and numerology.
Occultism is conceived of as the study of the inner nature of things, as opposed to the outer characteristics that are studied by science.

The word has negative connotations for many people, and while certain practices considered by some to be "occult" are also found within mainstream religions, in this context the term "occult" is rarely used.

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Haunted???

Request an Investigation

In addition to RICHARD CARRADINE's work with the Ghost Hunters of Urban Los Angeles (GHOULA), he also maintains a website (Ghostswanted.com), where he investigates haunted locations based on e-mails received, and then posts the results.
His approach to each case is academic. Proving or disproving the spiritual activity of a certain spot isn't what motivates this ghost hunter. Instead, he is more interested in collecting the stories and eyewitness accounts, and archiving them, not only as a means of getting a glimpse into that place’s past, but also as a means of recording them for future studies into these unusual phenomena that clearly affect so many seemingly unconnected people.
For More Info:
www.ghostswanted.com
www.ghoula.org

Show Air Date: Sunday, Oct. 19, 2008

The song played on this week's show is "Visualize" from Mona's CD "Somethething I've Gotta Trust". Click here to purchase the CD.
Mona's Store

Can physical activity reduce the risk of breast cancer?

Exercise pumps up the immune system and lowers estrogen levels. With as little as four hours of exercise per week, a woman can begin to lower her risk of breast cancer.

Can a healthy diet help prevent breast cancer?

A nutritious, low-fat diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables can help reduce the risk of developing breast cancer. A high-fat diet increases the risk because fat triggers estrogen production that can fuel tumor growth.

Does smoking cause breast cancer?

At this point in time there is no conclusive link between smoking and breast cancer. However, due to the number of health risks associated with smoking, quitting can significantly increase survival rates.

Can drinking alcohol increase the risk of breast cancer?

One or two drinks a day has been shown to slightly increase the risk of breast cancer. The greater the levels consumed, the higher the risk.

Remember alcohol affects the oxygen levels in
your blood stream which can affect your immune system?

Is there a link between oral contraceptives and breast cancer?

There is an increased risk of breast cancer for women under 35 who have been using birth control pills for more than ten years.

How often should I do a breast self-exam (BSE)?

Give yourself a breast self-exam at least once a month. Look for any changes in breast tissue, such as changes in size, a lump, dimpling or puckering of the breast, or a discharge from the nipple. If you discover a persistent lump in your breast or any changes in breast tissue, it is very important that you see a physician immediately. However, 8 out of 10 lumps are benign, or not cancerous.

Does a family history of breast cancer put someone at a higher risk?

If you have a grandmother, mother, sister, or daughter who has been diagnosed with breast cancer, this does put you in a higher risk group. Have a baseline mammogram at least five years before the age of breast cancer onset in any close relatives, or starting at age 35. See your physician at any sign of unusual symptoms.

Are Mammograms Painful?

Mammography does compress the breasts and can sometimes cause slight discomfort for a very brief period of time. Patients who are sensitive should schedule their mammograms a week after their menstrual cycle so that the breasts are less tender.

How does menstrual and reproductive history affect breast cancer risks?

Women who began their menstrual cycles before age 12, have no children, or had their first child at 30 or older, or began menopause after 55 are at a higher risk.

How Often Should I Go To My Doctor For A Checkup?

You should have a physical every year. If any unusual symptoms or changes in your breasts occur before your scheduled visit, do not hesitate to see the doctor immediately.

What Kind Of Impact Does Stress Have On Breast Cancer?

Although some studies have shown that factors such as traumatic events and losses can alter immune system functions, these studies have not provided any evidence of a direct cause-and-effect relationship between stress and breast cancer. An area currently being studied is whether or not stress reduction can improve immune response and slow progression in women diagnosed with breast cancer.


Q: I've have been taking tamoxifen for over three years for breast cancer. My neighbor says tamoxifen is a dangerous drug, and now I am concerned. Can you give me any information about this drug?

A: Tamoxifen (Nolvadex) is given to women to prevent a recurrence of breast cancer. It blocks the action of estrogen in the breast and studies show it is beneficial.
Tamoxifen has estrogen-like effects in other parts of the body, however. It can cause blood clots in the lungs or deep veins, and it increases the risk that cancer will develop in the lining of the uterus.
This is why it is important for you to see your doctor regularly while you take this medication. If you develop any symptom such as pain and swelling in your legs, shortness of breath or unusual vaginal bleeding, report it immediately.



Breast cancer is like a snake waiting in the brush just waiting to attack. It sneaks up on you and strikes you swiftly and silently.

Breast cancer feels like the itch you can’t scratch. It feels like the pesky fly that hovers around, a pest you can’t ever get rid of. It’s like the burglar that is always lurking in the dark, just waiting to strike.

I wish I never heard of cancer. Even when you are cancer free it doesn’t ever really go away.

Before cancer I thought I was invincible. I thought I would live forever. I believed that as long as I worked out, ate the right foods and stayed away from alcohol I would out-live everyone.

Now, I believe….. I just don’t know. I am scared all the time. I don’t know what to believe, think or feel. I have always believed that if I held positive thoughts I could move mountains. My faith has been shaken. I am fighting an enemy I can’t see.


I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in February 2001, at the age of 34. I went thru a mastectomy and 6 rounds of chemo. Through my struggle, I went on to have 2 beautiful children, Cassie and Matthew with my husband Maurilio, who is a fire fighter. In 2005 I thought life could not be any better until I found out I had cancer for the second time. This time it was lobular cancer in my right breast. I had another mastectomy in Dec. 2005. Dr. Paz, my physician, came in on a Saturday before he was flying out for vacation to complete my surgery rather than me facing three additional weeks of uncertainty. Soon, followed 6 rounds of chemotherapy. After an excess of 10 surgeries, I have completed my reconstruction of both my breast, with the assistance of Dr. Anderson. My surgeries were performed at “City of Hope”.

Breast Cancer is like a roller coaster. You are on highs and lows in the beginning. When you hear the word “Cancer” you think that life is over. You read, talk and listen to people and find out “it’s not so bad, I can beat this”. You have great days with friends and loved ones and days when a commercial will make you cry. You realize you are not alone; there are many women who have beaten the beast and others who have fought valiantly and lost. Before being diagnosed with breast cancer I thought everyone who was diagnosed with cancer died. I now realize it makes you stronger and tougher.


Looking into a mirror and seeing no hair or breasts makes you realize you are different. You feel like no one understands you, that this is just a phase. No one gives you eye contact and if they do it is to pity you. I now walk proudly with my head up and can smile and say “yes, I HAD breast cancer.” My hair is now restored. When I see people on the street with “the look” I make sure to look them in the eye with a big smile and say “hi.” knowing that I survived.

Why did breast cancer scare me? I will tell you why, it almost took me away from my children. I fear that my cancer someday will come back. I fear that I might not see my children grow up. I want people to understand that breast cancer is not a “death sentence.” Cancer can be an awakening and appreciation of what life is all about. It is not sitting on the couch feeling sorry for yourself. It is taking advantage of all that life has to offer. It is reaching out and telling your loved ones “I love you.” It is “Carpe Diem”, seizing the day!!


Dr. Sara Hurvitz is an Assistant Clinical Professor and the Director of the Breast Cancer Program in the Division of Hematology-Oncology at UCLA. She specializes in the treatment of breast cancer. She received her medical degree from the University of Southern California and completed her residency training in Internal Medicine at UCLA. After serving a year as the Internal Medicine Chief Resident at UCLA she went onto complete her Fellowship training in Hematology and Oncology at UCLA. Dr. Hurvitz has received numerous honors, including a Young Investigator Award from the American Society of Clinical Oncology and the 2008 Marni Levine Memorial Breast Cancer Award for her promising work in breast cancer research. She leads multiple national and international breast cancer clinical trials and is a member of the Jonsson Comprehensive Cancer Center Women's Cancer Program. Dr. Hurvitz has lectured extensively on breast cancer in the community and academic settings.


Heather Lewin is currently a nurse practitioner in the Breast Cancer Program at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) Medical Center. Previously, she was a Nurse Practitioner with Gainesville Hematology/Oncology Associates. Ms. Lewin earned her “Master of Science in Nursing” degree at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland where she later worked in the Outpatient Breast Center. She also served at UCLA as the Clinic Preceptor for the College of Nursing/Nurse Practitioner & Graduate training program. Among her many positions, Ms. Lewin was appointed to the Board of Directors for the American Cancer Society in Alachua County, Florida, and was elected President of the Oncology Nursing Society in North Central Florida.

The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2008 some 1,990 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed among men and about 450 men will die from breast cancer in the United States. Breast cancer is about 100 times less common among men than among women and accounts for less than half of 1% of cancer deaths among men. For men, the lifetime risk of getting breast cancer is about 1/10th of 1% (1 in 1,000). The number of breast cancer cases in men relative to the population has been fairly stable over the last 30 years.

The Man's Health Book by Michael Oppenheim was published way back in 1994. A recent report suggests that men who work around gasoline and combustion products have a significantly higher risk of developing the disease.

While the cancer hits the loved ones in our lives…

And as they may succumb to cancer's physical manifestations, men, women or other family members are deeply affected by its emotional and psychological challenges. The feelings experienced when loved ones are diagnosed with the disease are --- helplessness, fear, anger, and uncertainty! Yet women, with their more extensive communication networks, have a venue for developing a support system. Men are often just set adrift.

Let's face it; since men really are from Mars, they can be very ill-equipped to handle the emotional and spiritual workload that quickly gets dumped on them. This is really about left brain dominance - meaning anyone, male or female, that is logically based. The logical mind can certainly "do stuff”, but sometimes the logical mind just can't "read" what someone wants or needs. The right brain, or emotional/creative mind, wants to gather information and talk about it over and over again. The logical mind figures that they've talked about it already: "They're done, right?" This can easily translate into "I don't care" or worse. There is no warmth or empathy.

Yet, within the scope of togetherness, the logical person begins to experience some very real emotions and feelings. At the time of initial diagnosis and surgery, these are not necessarily the types of things one can share with a partner who is fighting for her life. In fact, losing a loved one jumps immediately to the top of the list of everyone’s fears. But not far behind are feelings of inadequacy (how can I fix it; what do I need to do to get control of the situation; when will things get back to normal?) and anger (why us?).

Men Against Breast Cancer. MABC is the first national nonprofit designed to target and mobilize men to be active participants in the fight to eradicate breast cancer and to help men provide support for the women in their lives.

Here are a few ideas to get you started.

• Take charge, take control, and don’t be helpless.
• Be sure you don't overpower the cancer patient. Communicate on their terms; learn how to communicate better (and that includes just listening).
• If they want, handle making the appointments, finding out test results, etc.
• Make dinner, clean the house, take care of the kids.
• I think it goes, "for better or for worse." This means that you need to show your unconditional love at the start and end of each day. Squeeze as many hugs as you can into your waking hours. They need to know they are still desirable.
• Stay on target and stay together throughout diagnosis, surgery, and treatment, as needed.
• Laughter is the best medicine – make jokes about the situation.

Another organization is the Virginia-based Men's Crusade Against Breast Cancer.

Here are a few resources for men:
• Bosom Buddies www.bosombuddies.org 877-245-1300
• Men Against Breast Cancer www.menagainstbreastcancer.com
• Men's Crusade Against Breast Cancer: 703-978-3336.

For more information on breast health or breast cancer contact:
•The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation 1.800.I'M.AWARE 1.800.462.9273
•American Cancer Society 1.800.ACS.2345 1.800.227.2345
•NCI/Cancer Information Service 1.800.4.CANCER 1.800.422.6237



Breast self-examination is one of the most important tools you have for early detection of breast cancer. Early detection and treatment of any cancer is the key to saving lives. The more promptly treatment is begun, the greater the chance that it will be successful because the cancer is in a localized stage. Self-examinations and regular screenings by a doctor are vital for detecting cancer in the earliest possible stage. Consider doing a monthly self-exam.

•Step 1:In the Shower: Stand in the shower and with fingers flat (do not use the tips of your fingers) move your hand gently over every part of each breast. Check for lump, knot, or thickening. Use right hand for left breast, left hand for right breast.
•Step 2:Before a Mirror: With your hands at your sides, visually check for lumps, depressions (hollows). Then, placing palms on hips, press down firmly, flex your chest muscles and check again. Don't worry if you breasts don't match - chances are they will be a little different.
•Step 3: Before a mirror, raise you arms overhead. Look for changes in the contour of each breast as well as swelling and dimpling of the skin and changes in the nipple.
•Step 4:Lying Down: To examine your right breast, place a pillow or folded towel under the right shoulder and lay your right hand on your forehead, elbow bent and slightly forward. This distributes breast tissue more evenly on your chest. Move your hand down and then up all around the area of the breast. Repeat on the other side.
•Step 5: Lying down with fingers flat, use left hand to press on imaginary clock face on your right breast. Check for lumps or depressions (hollows). A ridge of firm tissue in lower curve is normal. Move in an inch toward the nipple and make the same circling motion again and again until you reach the center. Repeat with right hand, left breast. (Be sure to press firmly.)
•Step 6: Lying down, gently squeeze the nibble of each breast. Check for any discharge, clear or bloody. Report any lumps, thickenings or discharges you discover during the examination to your doctor immediately.

This guide is not intended as a replacement for professional care. For complete diagnosis and treatment, see your health care professional. Also, signup for the free monthly Breast Cancer Self-Exam Reminder
--Abnormal lumps or swelling in either the breast, nipple, or chest muscle
--Skin dimpling or puckering
--Nipple retraction (turning inward)
--Redness or scaling of the nipple or breast skin
--Nipple discharge

Both men and women have breast tissue. Until puberty, girls and boys have a small amount of breast tissue with a few ducts under the nipple and areola (the pigmented region surrounding the nipple). When a girl reaches puberty, her ovaries produce hormones that cause breast ducts to grow, cause lobules (milk-producing glands) to form at the ends of the ducts, and increase the amount of stroma (fatty and connective tissues surrounding the ducts and lobules). When a boy reaches puberty, his testicles produce hormones that prevent further breast tissue growth.

Because men usually have much less breast tissue than women, breast lumps and other abnormalities are often easier to find on men than on women. However, because breast cancer is far less common in men and many men believe that only women get breast cancer, men often ignore the early signs of breast cancer, attributing the symptoms to infection or another cause. Some men are embarrassed to find a breast lump and delay making an appointment with their physician. Since men usually have less breast tissue than women, male breast cancer does not need to grow far to intrude into the skin and the muscles underneath the breast. Men who experience signs of breast cancer should see a physician.

The bottom line is, leading thinkers in conventional medicine don't understand the causes of these diseases at all. They keep looking for the biochemical interactions. They're looking at a microscopic level and losing sight of the big picture.

You see, when a person has a cancer tumor, it's something that the body actually built. A tumor is not some sort of alien invader. But in fact, your body built the tumor. Cancer comes from within the body. There's no microbial invader responsible. Cancer is fundamentally a failure of the body to regulate its own metabolism and clean up unhealthy, mutated cells.

Your immune system already knows how to handle cancer, and it has done so for decades.
How do we look at the body? When doctors deal with body parts we sometimes can’t see the whole picture. These are some holistic ideas to work with conventional medicine.

In fact, the very process of cancer -- the seemingly uncontrolled duplication of cells -- is quite natural. It is much the same process that a fetus undergoes when it is forming in the womb. Similarly, whenever you injure yourself, and your body has to heal that injury by rebuilding skin cells or other tissues, it is involved in a cancer-like action. Cancer is just a name given to a normal metabolic function that has become abnormal in the fact that it is no longer restrained. Cancer, then, is really a normal biological process taking place in the wrong context. When cells are duplicating like crazy in a fetus, it's called a miracle of life. When cells are duplicating like crazy in the pancreas of a senior citizen, it's called a disease, same process, different context.

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Body:
Healing with light - Sunlight 10 minutes a day
Air Purification
Start using “Green”, meaning no toxins, cleaning supplies for your home and work.
Toxins from cleaning material can invade the body. Cancer and treatments coupled with toxins is a dangerous combination.
Brushing - Brushing the skin with a soft feather will help move the energy and blood through the body. Ending in the collar bone. This is for the lymphatic system. For breast cancer focus mainly on the breast.
Tea and Salt Baths with Purified warm (not hot or cold) water - 2-3 times a day. - Keeps the pores open to remove toxins.
Oxygen therapy - Purified Oxygen 2-3 times a day.
Things to avoid - Everything unnatural. Even soap, Unfiltered Water and Deodorant. Everything that is not organic carries a toxin. If the choice is chemotherapy and/or radiation this will only induce the negative approach to these processes and break the body down and induce cancer agents into the body. Toxins become very counterproductive coupled with Radiation and Chemo, and is the number one reason cancer returns in patients using these methods.
Reflexology
Acupuncture
Acupressure for Nausea
Massage therapy using sesame oils -enhancing blood circulation; reduce anxiety and depression, (not recommended immediately after chemotherapy or radiation)

Mind:
Soft Music, the flute
Chi- Prana Healing
Meditation - I generally use Dharana.
Aroma Therapy - this is patient dependent. Interviewing them to find out what smells impacted them as a child (what made them laugh, cry, angry etc. (Emotional)). Avoiding what was negative is just as important as using what was positive.

Supplements and Foods
Avoid: Dairy, citrus fruits, caffeine, alcohol
Eat Organic. If you think about it, only shop the outside aisles of the grocery store and you are pretty safe.
Walk to help digestion. Digestion is so very important for people choosing Radiation or Chemo, the lining of the digestive system is compromised a great deal. Soft, non-acidic foods filled with proteins and antioxidants will help. For more information go to http://acidalkalinediet.com
Protein Injections
A great supplement cocktail= Beta-Carotene, selenium, E and Zink
Other supplements - Hoxsey, Essiac and Pau D'arco Tea and Mistletoe


~~A Friend's corner~~
I'm able to write this today as I am the forum wizard behind the Pink curtain. How fortunate.
A message to you Miss Mona.
I am also going through my second round of cancer (ovarian). My first treatment was last night and you pulled me through. I work in the military and aerospace field and was recently reminded (by a soldier coming back from war) that we save lives.
Mona.... You are no different. Through trying times you were there. You have saved my "Invisible Warfare" (like you have done for so many) on numerous occasions and continue to do so through this battle. You change and save lives. Everyone, in their own little way, does something to "Pay it Forward" but this takes on a whole new meaning, daily, for you. I hope this has etched a moment in time for you as you have done for so many with this radio show and beyond. We are blessed to have you in our world.

From me to you~~Thank you.

Air Date: Oct. 12, 2008

One of the fastest ways to growth is through struggle.

Today we are going to walk through struggles, find lessons and then see the ultimate purpose.

When struggles and mistakes are walked through spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically; the hurt, pain, and horror finds worth on the other side.



Wisdom and the Intellect are very different processes.



We, as a community, are in a mass struggle right now in our economy, personal development, illnesses, family structure, and spiritual co-existence.




We expand in higher forms of education but when do we develop more wisdom?



How can blocking and twisting your thoughts, feelings, and memories, painful or positive, show you who you are and why you are here?

Have we forgotten that we are here for a reason?

We need techniques for wisdom.

The more we know, feel, remember, and understand about ourselves, the more our hearts and minds clear for the understanding of others, especially those different than ourselves.

God forbid we are different... as God created us to be so incredibly different. So how do we get along within ourselves and with others?

If you want to know your purpose on this planet, find a struggle, any struggle and process it. Inside the struggle is a lesson. And through the lesson is your purpose.

Look at your struggle. Learn the lesson for understanding. Find the opposite of the struggle to see it's purpose.

When the Inner Depth enters you now have Wisdom!

Exercise:

1. Can you find a struggle? What’s the battle going on in your head?
2. What are you afraid of regarding this struggle? Who are you afraid of? Is it you or someone else?
3. Did you rinse down the feeling rinse paper?
4. What truth can you find that you may be blocking regarding this struggle?
5. What is the lesson?
6. What is the opposite of your struggle?
7. Find a purpose yet?
8. Can you identify the wisdom?
9. Celebrate!

Stop the War or Love is No More!!!

When my client Kristen learned to go through her feelings of fear, past and present, she found self love.


I spent my life feeling like I was broken. I was convinced there was
something really wrong with me. I was always depressed. I had a history of alcohol abuse and I suffered severely from panic attacks. I had the outside world fooled into thinking I was okay, but on the inside, I felt I was being tortured on a daily basis.

On my first visit with Mona, she asked me if I had been molested.
I couldn't believe she brought it up. I didn't even know her. Was it that easy to see? Why had no one else ever asked? I'm sure now that it’s because others were afraid of the answer. No wonder I became addicted to alcohol. I needed to bury my truth. When I finally told the truth with feelings, I could breathe.

During that very first session I wrote three anger letters, one to my mother, one to my father, and one to myself. I was a little surprised by the venom I held for my parents. But the big shocker was my own self-hatred. I could, for the first time, feel it with my whole body and soul. I was embarrassed and ashamed to admit it.

After I learned to walk through these horrible thoughts and feelings, I felt hope. It was raw and painful, but for the first time in my life I understood why I avoided these feelings, and furthermore, that these feelings weren't killing me—the shame and secrets were. In order to understand my relationship with the world, I have to understand my relationship with myself, then each of my family members. It’s exhausting sometimes! But still, this has been a miracle for my entire family. We've learned to understand each other much better. We've learned a format of communication that never existed for us before. I now feel I want to live more than I want to die. I feel like there’s hope. By allowing myself to grow up, I've let my dreams become realities. I'm learning to do what I want with boundaries. I don’t wait around for something to happen. I take action.

My Purpose at the end of these struggles?
Often when I walk through my fear, I come out on the other side with an incredible sense of relief and wisdom and yes, self-love! And this has enabled me to love all kinds of people.
I opened a non-profit organization to build water wells in Africa. My life is forever different because I was capable of seeing the truth of pain beyond my imagination of abuse and trauma,
and instead of withdrawing I was strong enough to show my feelings
and take action and help others see theirs and do something about it!




The Samburu Project is a non-profit 501 (c)(3) organization that collaborates with communities in developing countries to enhance men, women and children’s daily lives by providing resources that address immediate needs while promoting long term sustainability and self-sufficiency along with cultural integrity. The organization’s first initiative, 25 Wells, is aimed at providing easy access to clean, safe drinking water to communities in the Samburu District, Kenya.
www.thesamburuproject.org

About Perla

A native Angeleno who loves the personalities, community and cultures, Perla has parlayed a 15 year career in the music and entertainment industry as an actor and percussionist for such notable artists as Malo, The Escovedo Family, Paris Escovedo, El Chicano, and more. She has traveled the world extensively over that time.

She has lived abroad in Barra da Tijuca, Brazil, Santiago, Chile, and Paris, France. She is fluent in Portuguese, Spanish and French. She now uses her business acumen in the Los Angeles Proper marketplace as a Realtor to assist clients through the sale and purchase process of Real Estate.

Perla Druilhet
THE REAL ESTATE MD GROUP, LLC
REALTOR

Certified Investment Specialist
Multi-Million Dollar Top Producer
Internet Real Estate Talk Show Host

Mobile: 310-245-4700
Email: perla@thebeachcities411.com
Fluent in Spanish, Portuguese, and French






Please feel free to write in at monamillercomart@aol.com or call the show at 800-336-2225 at 7pm pacific coast time and share your struggles and find the wisdom and purpose.

For more processing skills visit www.monamiller.com or call the office at 818-789-8404 for the book and workbook "Invisible Warfare!"

We are about to change our lives!

Show Airdate: Oct. 5, 2008

Through A Child’s Eyes...

Forms Our Adult Perceptions

How many children ask...

Who am I…and Why am I here…

My name is David
I am an Iranian Jew escaping through Turkey, why?
Why are there Bombs?

My name is Lili
I am David’s sister.
Why is mommy crying? What is happening?
Why is my brother dressed up as a girl Kurd?
Where is Daddy?

My Name is Amr
I am an Egyptian, Muslim who fears everything.
Why does daddy fear poverty?
Please don't send me back there.

Does a country, culture, or religion really define who we are?
Or is it our perception of these things which affects our minds, hearts, and intuition?

Why must we dominate and have power over our own spirits and then each others?
Is this of an empowering kind?
Why do we need to take lands when there is enough for all?

First there is life!
Then there is perception of life!
Followed with a judgment or understanding of life!

The goal:
First we are confused.
Then we get clear.
Soon we get clarity.
And maybe someday…clairvoyance!!

WE ARE THE WORLD….aren't we?

It is the first time the world is truly connected to one another in a way, where if one of us goes…we all go down.

Foreign markets now have much vested in us and vice versa. So we must pull the thorn from our eyes and see ourselves as one and truly connected.

The money crisis has made this even more visible so we can not truly ignore this fact.

My name is David.

Once upon a time there was this little boy whose world was seen with such innocent and wise eyes. The last few days before his leaving of Iran he began elaborately saying good-bye, literally kissing farewell to everything in the apartment anything with a sense of special standing. The especially nice carpets in our very large (what Iranians after the French fashion call) ‘salon’ he gives each a kiss. When he leaves, he’s around twelve and his sister Lili’s around eleven.

The decision is being made whether to escape through Turkey or Pakistan: for a substantial amount of money, one can either be smuggled by Kurds over the north-western border of Iran into Turkey, or by Baluchis through the desert in the south-east into Pakistan. The horror stories of escape, which were an everyday matter, smacked hard even for a twelve year old onlooker.

Tehran, the capital where my mom’s family was from, where we were born and where we lived, was now subject to regular bombing runs at night. There were streams of stories about whippings and beating by vigilante revolutionary guards for slight infractions against Islamic propriety. Fathers were beaten for strands of their girls’ hair showing through the veil, women tortured. The draft age had come down to thirteen.

Iran’s Jews were now put in a very curious situation. The adult and the young generation had integrated into Iranian Jewish society. They'd gone to the same universities and now had Muslims and their families not only as colleagues, but even as friends; my dad became the head of the psychiatric department at the Iranian air force.

To say Lili and I went to a Jewish school is actually to say that our school was four schools in one: the school was divided into a boy’s and girl’s section, and then each of those divided between classes for Jewish and Muslim kids. The antechamber to the school had a floor that was basically a giant painted American flag, which everyone obviously had to step onto, going in and out of the school. This floor was never washed or swept. Everyday at the beginning of school we lined up in the school yard to shout our revolutionary slogans: “death to Iraq ten times”, “death to Saddam ten times”, death to America, death to Israel…

Our teachers and administrators on the one hand were super-ideological or plain sadistic types who simply could not fit in or make it elsewhere. Rules were made up. And, what happened if you were caught even accidentally remiss on this point? You were lined up, one by one; you were given a few seconds of hope in which to make an attempt at explanation; after ten to fifteen seconds, invariably regardless of what was being said came a juicy slap in the face. But I remember standing in the line one time, what was unbearable was the threat of the wait and the useless hope that you might be able to get out of it. I don't remember any of it!

By the end of fifth grade, my mom’s irreverence too was being noticed. As a student, she'd become a nationalist with Communist and radical sympathies and such associations. She’s a person not much good for dissimulating or shutting up about what’s on her mind for too long. This was becoming alarming. There was the time she came to our school again to talk to the principle about something having to do with Lili or me. Our principle had a revolutionary guard background. Although my mom tried to talk to him he insistently looked away. Finally, she asked him sharply why he did not politely look her in the face when she she was talking to him? He replied that he did not deign to look at her because a few strands of her hair was showing outside of her veil. So my mom took off her veil and flung it at him!! He warned her of the consequences if she didn't change her tone!! He then wondered whether she had a file. Later Mr. Hussaini, who was passing by, caught her in the hallway and told her that she had to find some way to leave Iran. Because she was not going to survive in it. All the same, we didn't leave because of my mom, but because of me. I was reaching the draft age of thirteen.

We wake up earlier than I ever remember having woken up....
We take a bus to Azerbaijan in the Northwest of Iranian and Turkish border. The emotional atmosphere is thick, but no one alludes to it. (I now see myself as a master of thick silences.) On the platform we're met by our handler. We do not make a big show of saying good-bye to my dad. We get into the handler’s car and look back at my dad, but not for too long. Lili and I are dropped off at a Kurdish village on the Iranian side of the Turkish border to be taken overnight to a village on the Turkish side. I've never been to a ‘truly’ rural area before. The village is made up of mud huts. A Kurdish man with a warm and humorous face and disposition can see my shock at their accommodations and is amused by it. He keeps joking with me about it, calling me ‘boy of the city’.

Besides us, there’s also a Muslim man—of nineteen or twenty. He is directly evading the draft. My mom, Lili and I have been decked out in Kurdish clothing, Kurdish women’s clothing. We're to be a mother and her two girls following their men on mules. We now begin to climb the mountain range in earnest. Soon we're at passes you can only take in by throwing your head all the way back. They go essentially straight up. I am not certain how long had climbed. But it’s for a while. Eventually, we reach a ravine. Which must have been close to the border. Now the horror stories in whisper begin. We must not make a single noise from here on or there is sure to be torture awaiting if we are discovered. We are now walking on a relatively flat path on the side of the mountain.

At some point, we hear confused noises as if there was a scuffle up ahead. Our group hurries to catch up to my mom. My mom’s mule had slipped off the path. My mom had been thrown off and started to tumble down the mountain only a small rock had stopped her decent. The mule had stepped on her several times crushing and shattering her shoulder bones.

The Kurdish village is just on the other side, which is to be our destination. You can feel the early morning coming on. Decisions have to be made. My mom has been laid down unconscious. They are not certain whether she is alive or dead and are wondering what they should do in case of the latter? Should they take us back, or continue with the original plan as is? In Tehran, when the bombings hit the sirens, we would go off into the basement and the grown-ups would tell jokes and stories to keep us loose. This is why this did not seem so scary. My mom comes to and starts moaning from the pain. Everyone’s very relieved. The men try to comfort her, but also try to quiet her as best they can. We start our decent down in the village.

The people in the village were very nice to us. After a day or two the village ‘doctor’ arrived to ‘set’ my mom’s arm. We rode for almost two days straight on a bus. In Istanbul we were to be handed off to the family of a former nurse of my fathers. They were Baha’ is who’d escaped to Turkey and were now residing there waiting, hoping for an asylum visa to Australiai. Not withstanding all that had gone wrong we were playing with cards hardly available to the vast throng of Iranians. Eventually, more than one million who’d come to Turkey had gotten stuck there. Thousands and thousands were rotting in Turkish jails. We had green cards waiting for us in the US and lots of family there with means. And my mom had started the trip with a great deal of money and jewelry for the bribery campaign that started soon enough.

By night in Istanbul, our Kurdish experience came to an end. We got into a cab that was to take us to the Iranian family. Eventually, the Israelis relented and on Feb. 2, 1986 we got to America! We went to my grandfather’s house in Anaheim, and my mom once again soon found her way back to the hospital. Clearly, under the circumstances, all ultimately turned out as well as possible. My mom survived her quite serious operation. I did a lot of tearful pleading with God. I should probably go back to that! And, my dad, after more than a year left legally. If still by subterfuge. He told the authorities that his wife had escaped with his children. And had been seriously hurt along the way, so he now needed to go and fix the situation.

I hope the above account will suffice to show that I have not repressed the problematic aspects of living in the Islamic Republic as a religious minority, and much more important and explanatory. In a post-revolutionary country in the midst of total war. First, I would recount all of my memories of my family of growing up playing day by day with Lili. My relationship with whom I take as a prototype of how to hae fun with others. As for my mom, who impregnated me with her spirit, her craziness, her thinking and her ideals. Which I will make certain will outlive both her and me. As for my dad, who always made me love being a Jewish person simply by watching his dignity and who he was. He always acted as our protector.

Reconstituting ourselves in America was not easy. May I say I think we've done a rather good job at it because although a reverse usual truism, we have certainly not become monetarily richer, but I think we've become richer as human beings. Playing off the goods and bads of two very different societies (though I'd have to say not necessarily policies.)

ESCAPE FROM IRAN

Hi my name is Lili, I'm David’s sister.

I dealt with our escape from Iran much like everything else in my life. I didn't really feel much until it all went down. I guess I'm a procrastinator in every sense of the way including how I deal with big issues and big feelings. I remember calling one of my girlfriends in the morning to tell her I wasn't feeling well and would not be making it to school. I asked her to tell the teacher and collect my work for the day. This was of course, all a formality, so it wouldn't seem like a red flag to the school officials. I wonder if my girlfriend knew what I was up to. A lot of us were disappearing around then so I would think so. The next thing I remember, is driving away and David and me looking back at our house from the back of the car. I remember David crying and saying goodbye to the house. I didn't cry at a young age. I was good at being unattached with my feelings. I also think David had such a better understanding of everything. We were about to take a journey that was dangerous. I remember stories of people of escaping and people getting killed and shot. But with all this, in some juvenile way, I thought it was this big adventure we were taking!

We were further away from my mom when she fell off the horse and her shoulder was crushed. I heard a cry or a moan and asked my guide what happened. He told me not to worry and that everything would be fine. I did not protest… I knew in my heart though that something was not right. I remember feeling the anxiety of not being safe and just wanting my mommy. This whole journey was going to plague me with that feeling of wanting my mom and dad, who were not capable of being there for me. Now that I am a mom myself, I cannot even imagine what my mom was going through being hurt and in so much pain and not able to comfort or protect her babies. Also for my dad who had absolutely no control in this situation. He had to just watch us go!

The choices they had to make as parents were so astronomical. I wish I could go back and hug "me" as a little girl and tell her to cry with "me" and that it’s ok… and self sooth. Then I would want to tell me that your mommy will be ok and and get my mommy and me to talk about all the hard changes that were happening. I wish I could hug my mom and tell her that we were all going to be ok and that your babies are safe.

After we got through the mountains we ended up in a village in Turkey who put the word "roughing it" to a new level. My mom was badly hurt. I could hear my mom screaming from the other room. With all this craziness going on, I was still acting like a little brat. I was upset because one of the village girls was using my brush and I was petrified because I thought her hair was filthy. I think I still harbor some guilt from my behavior considering my mom was in such bad shape

From there we went to the city in Turkey, Istanbul. We stayed with one of my dad’s previous employees who were on an escape route themselves while my uncle came out to help with our paperwork. I think this point was the beginning of my feelings of not belonging. I have struggled with never feeling completely Iranian or completely American or completely anything for that matter. No identity to grasp to. I always remember growing up, I just wanted to run away and hide. We had left our wonderful spacious, yet cozy home and were sharing a very small two bedroom place with eight people. My mom was in and out of the hospital and I got sick with chicken pox during this process as well. I don't even remember much of this time because I believe I entered such a deep state of shut down. I always tell my husband that I don't really need weed or alcohol to shutdown. I feel that I have a great mechanism to shut down all on my own.

This has gotten much better during the last year or so. Needless to say, I do not have very fond memories of Turkey. Not because of Turkey. I hear it is a wonderful place to travel to but I can't imagine going back.

From there we went to Israel and stayed with family while my mom spent more time in the hospital. This was definitely an improvement, but I still felt so lost. I became close to an older male cousin. I think I needed to feel close to someone and he was so nice to me. Looking back, I don't really know how appropriate the relationship was. Later as an adolescent I would get strange feelings about that time with him. Perhaps I should explore this some more!!??

This was also where I remember the cultural differences between living in Iran and being in Israel. I remember the music the most. Finally I was listening to American music and trying to identify with it and hoping that my life would be similar to one of their story lines…ha ha.

My name is AMR "Hussein"

(Hussein, in Egypt, is like "Smith" in America)

I only have one memory of my childhood before turning 4. My brother and I were riding in our dad’s government car. The driver named Ousta Mahmoud was driving my brother to school. At the last intersection before we reached the school gate we hit another car. It wasn't a serious accident. I think I hit my chin on the dashboard. It didn't hurt and I wasn't scared. I was in la-la land. I was out of the house, I was in a car, neither my dad nor mom was there. It was a beautiful sunny morning and I didn't have a care in the world. For me, it was the adventure of a lifetime. And why not, I was only 3? I just remembered how safe and happy I always was in the presence of this driver “Ousta Mahmoud”. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing well. I miss him. I also just remembered how curious I was about school and I think I was always badgering my parents to let me go there.

I was born in Egypt. Both my parents are Egyptian and I have one older brother. My father who worked for the Egyptian government as an economist was assigned to work at the IMF in Washington D.C. So at the ripe old age of 4 we moved there. I started school in Rockville. My objection was that I didn't know how to read, write, or even speak English. So what was I am going to do there? When my mom asked me how my first day went, I replied that it was really easy…all we did was play. I could definitely handle that! Even though I spoke no English, I made my first best friend. His name is Antonio. He was from Brazil and interestingly enough he didn't speak English either. For 2 young boys of 5, the lack of spoken communication did nothing to prevent us from playing and having a really good time. I remember we had one fight. There was also a Japanese kid in our Kindergarten class. Even though he was 5, he knew some Judo and had a grand old time flipping all of us. I got flipped and thought that was the coolest thing ever. I have more vivid memories of kindergarten than I do of first grade. Maybe because the seriousness of having to learn set in and that scared me, so of course, I blocked it out. I also blocked out my father. For some reason I looked to someone else for that fatherly “feel”. I looked for it somwhere else.

For the most part growing up in the US was awesome. As long as I could avoid my father’s temper tantrums, (he was more verbally abusive than physically). I was my brother’s anger pillow. His beatings physically hurt. My father would always try to make me feel bad that my grades weren't good enough. I had some A’s and mostly B’s but my brother was a straight A student. Still, it was ALL about having fun for me.

Obviously I didn't like being in the house much. Too many rules and too much anger…Yuck! I was happiest when I was with my friends playing. My biggest challenge was to fit in. I was chubby. I was not a gifted athlete. Kind of nerdy in school. Definitely not cool. I was from a different country so that always created a barrier. A part of the barrier comes from Americans insecurities with differences.

I went through a phase where I was regularly peeing in my pants. My fear was great. I had no self-esteem. My mom was my silent Saint. She watched over me with amusement and wonder. She was the only one on the planet who subconsciously understood me. She must have been saying to herself “just let him be and he will be alright”. As usual she was right. I so miss her, it’s not even funny. She passed a while ago.

Coming here to the US and getting a Green Card was a matter of “life or death” for me. That’s why the Green Card became a false God to me. It was going to give me worth. It wasn't until I learned that we are all equal, no less than, no better than, that I was allowed to have the card.

In late 1976 Dad had a “family meeting” which was really cool. This a welcome deviation from the standard yelling and shouting I was so accustomed to. He told us that his assignment was to be finished at the end of the year and that we would be returning to Egypt. He actually gave us a choice, even if it was only verbal, of whether we wanted to stay or go. Even though I had no solid recollection of Egypt, I didn't understand why anyone would want to go. Things were going pretty good…why leave? Looking back I could tell that mom didn't want to go back. I know I didn't. I don't remember my brother’s reaction. He always had a “yes sir” “right away sir” kind of attitude. So there was no telling what his truth was.

Going from the US back to Egypt was like going from Heaven to Hell. Every luxury, every freedom, every amenity all which bring a certain level of peace…was gone. It was like it was taken away by force. It was a completely new way of life for me. I did not welcome it. I resisted it until the very day I set foot in Los Angeles in May 1999. (And from that point on I was afraid of it up until I met Mona and started working on myself.

The best examples of this hell for a boy of 10 years:

If dad was shouting before, he was raging now. And he never stopped. He complained about how expensive everything was. He refused to buy me pens to go to school with. He forced me to use the pens we brought back from the US, but we thought the ink had dried. His salary in the US allowed us to live comfortably. Whatever the Egyptian government wasn't paying him when we got back made him rage. Dad’s worst fear is poverty. It is the source of his anger and his rage. I really understand that now. For 40 years, it too has been my nemesis. It only started to have less control over my life as I became aware of it and started to understand it.

That’s why my handwriting is so bad. It’s bad in English and even worse in Arabic. I resented dad for sending me to school with bad pens. These perceptions affected me so strongly. My part of this was my friends had good hand-writing and they were all writing with particular brand of pens. In my mind it was the pen that was making their hand-writing look good. That’s not the truth. Belief is stronger than reality. At my level, the quality of the pen has little to do with the quality of the hand writing. THANK GOD FOR COMPUTERS AND PRINTERS.

How was it to be 10?

How about I am 10 years old and I can't read or write my own language?
How about my dad yelling at me, my mom, and my brother ALL the time?
How about I had to succeed in school because failure was not an option?
How about being so stressed out about school that I asked my father to take me to the mosque so I can pray? Something he never did.
How about my dad complaining about how expensive everything was?
How about all my classmates making fun of my inability to speak read or write Arabic?

Who Am I And Why Am I Here.....

The Song for today's show is called "The Silence if Broken" for download go to www.thesilenceisbroken.com. Composed by Patrick Gandy.