Friday, June 27, 2008, 08:39 AM
What is a leader in 2008?
Come Join the Mona Miller Show and Christopher Loving Author/Founder and President of the Loving Leadership Institute For Tomorrow (LIFT)
Be it Business? Government? Religious? Parent? Judicial? This is a time when we are questioning, what is a Leader?Do we really want a Leader?
Do we want a Leader that is Powerful or Empowered? Careful when you choose.
What traits do we want as a Leader?
Do we want something different? If so; what are we looking for? Will we be afraid because this Leader will be of the unknown and fear is of the unknown too? Should we stay with what we know and stay the same? Will we hurt or even kill someone that is different? Can we have faith in our own intuitions to discern what is new and good or old and familiar? If someone wants to lead less from fear and more from love, what would they need to do, understand, develop, etc.? Without understanding yourself how do you empower others? If you do not hold understanding of others (your team) how will they know you understand them? a.Will they follow you? b.Will they walk behind you c.Or will they walk with you in leading "them" to success. Therefore leading yourself and your business to success. Imagine never having to micro manage again. If you can hold understanding of one another miracles can happen and fear will be missing. Are goals easily attained? Do you lead or empower? What are your goals? Personal life too.....? What is: Interpersonal Literacy Leaders as Linguists Champions and Change with a Generous Spirit Forgiveness Leaders as Wounded Healers Inner Landscape of a Leader Leaders are Awake Letting Go of Ego Observing Self Meta-processingChanging a culture is never easy
Understanding and insight into the organization’s culture, needs self-awareness at an individual level and at the organizational level. Belief structures are at the core of any system. Communication Skills are next. Then learning and implementing a practicing skill set that empowers each individual will begin to change the cultural climate and belief. Steering clear of pop-psychology approaches, this component goes beyond traditional communication training. Communicating well may seem simple, but being effective at connecting with those around us is a skill that often needs improvement. Exploring Conflict is the next concept. Transformative change requires trust and evaluation as it encourages trust, especially in social changes and work. There is already perceived risk when behaviors, patterns, power, relationships and structures are changing. Evaluations with a judging tone or style, which traditional and typical approaches often are, increase the sense of risk and generates fear while discouraging trust—a key component for successful change.Can Anyone Be a Leader?
You tell me. If you affect anyone throughout your day than you can and need to be a leader. The question is: What kind of leader do you want to be!
Christopher J. Loving Author, founder and president of Loving Leadership™ and the Leadership Institute For Tomorrow (LIFT), and former University of Washington ADVANCE Visiting Scholar Christopher J. Loving has over 25 years of experience developing and teaching new models of leadership. He has worked with hundreds of organizations (educational, Fortune 500, nonprofit) in the United States and in Europe and is frequently invited to partner with a wide range of audiences through keynote addresses, training programs, and coaching relationships. Past partnerships include the University of Michigan, University of Washington, Northwestern University, Washington University in St. Louis, Case Western Reserve University, Brandeis University, Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc., Associated Press, National Conference for Community and Justice, and many others. In the educational sector over the last 20 years, Chris has coached and advised trustees,presidents, provosts, deans, department chairs, faculty, directors, administrators and students, developed and facilitated a series of leadership conversations that have improved the climate and effectiveness of their organizations and designed and presented programs that feature a leadership curriculum for department chairs, postdoctoral associates, and graduate students. He has also created and presented diversity programs for over 20 years and trained trainers on how to more effectively develop and teach diversity-training programs in a variety of settings. Chris Loving lovingleadership@mac.com 602.750.5323 602.318.2580
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Friday, June 20, 2008, 07:14 PM
“How do you know if you are gay? The same way you know if you are straight!”Air Date: June 22nd, 2008
The California Supreme Court Says “Yes” to gay marriage!
Will this help gay or questioning teens stop running away from home, being thrown out of their homes, get rid of the fear of being spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically assaulted and abused or worse? Will this stop suicide attempts or murder for the judgment of deviants?
Today we have the Executive Director of The Trevor Project: Charles Robbins
The Trevor Project operates the only nationwide, around the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for gays and questioning youth. Staffed by trained volunteer counselors, the helpline provides support and crisis intervention services for young people. In addition, to operating the crisis and suicide prevention helpline, The Trevor Project also provides online support to young people through the organization’s website and provides lifesaving guidance and vital resources to educators and parents.
“Being gay does not put youth at greater risk for being suicidal; it does however make them more susceptible to social stigma which leads to suicide.”
Warning Signs of Suicide:
• A tendency toward isolation and social withdrawal
• Increasing substance abuse
• Expression of negative attitudes toward self
• Expression of hopelessness or helplessness
• Loss of interest in usual activities
• Giving away valued possessions
• Expression of a lack of future orientation: "It won't matter soon anyway."
• For someone who has been very depressed, when that depression begins to lift, the individual may be at INCREASED risk of suicide, as the individual will have the psychological energy to follow-through on suicidal ideation.
Can you imagine walking around literally with a Scarlet Letter through school or town? That’s what it’s like being gay.
Is Gay A Choice?
Who would choose this lifestyle if it weren’t true?
It’s like painting your skin black and living in the old south asking to be hung! Or… how about announcing you’re Jewish in Nazi Germany?
It is said when man’s judgment gets in the way, look at nature to see what is true in Human Nature. Whatever is in nature is a reflection of human nature.
Is homosexuality in nature? Absolutely, so is double sexed species in nature. Zebras, Ducks, Pigs, Lions, Seahorses, Dolphins etc. (See my book, Invisible Warfare: Chapter 12).
Biblical Literalist often have the strongest struggle with understanding and unconditional love with someone or something that thinks or is different than their belief system.
Recommended Movie: “For The Bible Tells Me So”
These are the kind of statements the Biblical Literalist and others have been known to say…
“I hope they stone him to death.”
“God said, “death to the faggots.”
“I have a bullet for you when you least expect it.”
“Kill Yourself.”
Think about this…
Many extremists use the Bible to back their personal beliefs and interpretations.
Where does the concept of Love and Peace really go?
Should you even read the Bible if you are not in compassion and love?
Should you be aware of the context and culture of the day?
When translating French to German or Arabic to English are we not aware of the meanings of words that will not literally translate? So what is the difference of the interpretation of the Bible or any other book of different times and cultures?
Thoughts of some of the literal biblical translations…
The Word: Abomination used in Leviticus 18:22, in the Bible regarding the “sin” that men should not lie down with men is an abomination…
At that time, the culture was trying to grow its population. If a man pulled out from intercourse with a woman, he too was punished. It was a time of reproduction for more strength. It was cultural law.
Abomination was used all over Leviticus. To eat rabbit was an abomination. So yes, time and culture matter.
How do you stop spiritual violence? I find that to be a paradox statement right there. Violence yet wanting peace!
Why were men allowed to love many wives and that not be adultery? Many biblical quotes were opinions and views from men who felt inspired by their cultural times.
This is meant to be humorous and help us think a minute
This was posted in USA Today by a reader in response to the story running about the same-sex marriages that are occurring because of the recent California Supreme Court decision.
It is the response to all those religious folks who are citing Leviticus 18:22 in The Bible the "sin" that men should not lie down with men.
SanJoseDweller wrote:
I want to thank all of you biblical experts for your post here today. Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from all of you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly state it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them.
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is that my Homeowners’ Association & neighbors claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? I have told them time and time again that the Bible says I need to do this. It is written so after all �. It is!
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual un-cleanliness
- Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. I have been slapped three times today alone!
4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? They are so cute!
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. The passage clearly states he
should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton / polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
******************************************************************
Larry King said, “There is no commandment that says Thou Shall Not Be Gay. It does say, Thou Shall Not Kill. There is nothing said by Jesus of being gay either.”
There are also scientific studies regarding genes, hormones and birth order regarding being gay.
The Medical Association
American Pediatrics Association
American Psychiatric Association
…and all other medical and psychological groups say homosexuality is not a mental disorder. It is a sexual orientation, not a choice. There is nothing broken to fix.
*You may find out more in any university library.
We used to punish “left handers”. My own mother was hit repeatedly in Catholic school for being left handed. Are you kidding me?
So that leads us to Gay Marriage!
First, the definition of Marriage.
THE ORIGIN OF MARRIAGE
MARRIAGE is generally used as a term for a social institution. As such it may be defined as a relation of one or more men to one or more women which is recognized by custom or law and involves certain rights and duties both in the case of the parties entering the union and in the case of the children born of it. These rights and duties vary among different peoples, and cannot therefore all be included in a general definition; but there must, of course, be something which they have in common. Marriage always implies the right of sexual intercourse: society holds such intercourse allowable in the case of husband and wife, and, generally speaking, even regards it as their duty to gratify in some measure the other partner's desire. 1 But the right to sexual intercourse is not necessarily exclusive. It can hardly be said to be so, from the legal point of view, unless adultery is regarded as an offence which entitles the other partner to dissolve the marriage union, and this, as we know, is by no means always the case.
So does society decide what marriage means?
So what about gay marriage? Let’s tune in and find out what Donna and Tiffany say…oh and congratulations on the birth of their new arrival…it’s a girl!
About Charles Robbins- Executive Director of The Trevor Project Charles has spent his career in nonprofit management and his experience includes founding organizations, fundraising and development, as well as leading and inspiring teams of volunteers. Charles joined The Trevor Project in February of 2007 following his role as director of development for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. Under Charles` leadership, the Task Force tripled its annual budget during his five-year tenure (from $3.2 million to $9.5 million). Prior to the Task Force, Charles served in various senior fundraising roles within the development department at the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). A Colorado native, Charles has served as executive director of AIDS, Medicine & Miracles in Boulder and as founder of Project Angel Heart, a Denver-based organization that delivers meals to people living with HIV/AIDS and other life-threatening challenges. He holds a certificate in Nonprofit Administration from the University of Colorado, Denver, and received his credential as a Certified Fund Raising Executive (CFRE) from the Association of Fundraising Professionals. Charles serves as a member of the Suicide Prevention Plan Advisory Committee for the California Department of Mental Health. Charles and his partner, Damon, reside in Los Angeles, California.
www.TheTrevorProject.org
The Trevor Helpline:# 866.4.U.TREVOR
310.271.8845 (Office)
“True Love” Part 3: How Does the Inner Child Affect Relationships - Invisible Warfare Chapter 9 - Happy Father's Day Air Date: 06-15-08
Friday, June 13, 2008, 04:53 PM
Does the inner child affect you as a lover, journey partner, soul mate, or parent? Did you know your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors are developed by the age of 8? If these traits are repeated throughout your life they are now habits?
Did you know there is such a thing as body memories?
When you repeat yourself over and over you are acting from the subconscious mind and in a trance.........................A trance is where we now play out whatever we were taught whether we liked it or not! I guess you could call this a type of brainwashing.
When we were being taught how to think, feel, believe and act we didn't have enough "self” to decide who our “self” really was............ So a "self" on auto pilot is a reflection or a rebellion of what we were taught.
Why do we study the history of our cultures and religions yet, when it comes to our own inner child's history we say "It's in the past, get over it."
What is the purpose of hindsight? Many of us use hindsight to beat ourselves up or live in our past glories.
How important is it as a father or person to know who you were, who your parents were, and how you felt about your childhood?
Do you like you?
Do you know you?
Do you know why you do what you do?
Are you your father or mother?
Did you marry or date your father or mother?
Have you rinsed your thoughts, feelings, or memories so you can truly act as you wished your parents would have acted?
Are you righteous about your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as you don't like them?
Is your wife or your children complaining about your tones, attitudes, beliefs or behaviors? Are you deflecting, defending or denying them? If you are…you don't have to see yourself, feel yourself, own yourself or change yourself. Ok.
Isn't your inner child the closest part to your soul that remembers why you are here? Didn't Jesus say..."I love the little children the best?” Does that mean he doesn't like adults? Or does it mean through the processing and understanding of the inner child you will find the truth and understanding of your spirits purpose?
So we learned that Mother's Day is 100 years old and Father's Day is.......99 years old. The women are still in the lead according to our calculations...........just kidding.
Fairmont - In the summer of 1908, the story goes, sadness ran so deep it just had to be shared.
As the birthday of her own late father neared, 41-year-old Grace Golden Clayton was thinking about loss - her own at first, then those of the children around her.
More than 1,000 were newly fatherless, their lives blown apart a few months earlier in nearby Monongah by the worst coal mining disaster in American history. Of the 361 men killed in the Dec. 6, 1907, blast, some 250 were fathers.
Fathers who should be remembered and honored with their own special day, Clayton decided.
80-year-old Josephine Cottrill, Clayton's great-niece, attends the church's Father's Day service every year in Clayton's honor.
Some speculate Clayton may have been partly inspired by fellow West Virginian Anna Jarvis, whose own crusade created Mother's Day.
Since 1985, when the state erected a black and white historical marker declaring Fairmont the birthplace of Father's Day, "we rested on our laurels," Meighen says. "We had not taken it to the next level."
The woman often credited with starting Father's Day is Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Wash. In 1909, she sought a special day to honor her father, who became a single parent when his wife died giving birth to their sixth child.
By 1924, President Coolidge supported the idea of a national holiday, and in 1956, Congress passed a joint resolution recognizing Father's Day.
President Johnson signed a Father's Day proclamation in 1966, and President Nixon made it permanent in 1972.
So join us for “True Love” Part III - Through The Truth & Understanding Of The Inner Child To The Soul!
Can Father’s find their “Little Boy’s”?
Where does Love begin?
Here’s a writing exercise:
Love is…
Love is for…
Love feels…
Love creates…
Love believes…
Truth is…My experience of -
Love/Childhood was like…
Felt like…
Truth is for…
Truth feels…
Truth creates…
Truth believes…
I remember…
And it made me see love like…
I would like to do Truth and Love like…
And this will make me feel…
Tuesday, June 3, 2008, 03:00 PM
I want to thank everyone for your questions and stories after last week's show. It seems to be a subject matter that everyone wants to understand. I listened back to the show myself and boy did I have a lot to say and I wasn't finished yet. So I guess we will do Part 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!This is an important subject because I believe “True Love”, be it Journey Partners, Soul Mates, or Lovers, makes life worth while.
So this week.......... we will be going a little deeper and answer some of your questions and share some of your stories and open the lines to your calls. To know what "true love" is.........is spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, sexual, and psychic/intuitive connections inside and with others.
Tune in....... but please join in too. This is our think tank and we all make a difference.
You can find more information and tools in Chapter 9 of the Invisible Warfare book. If you don't own a copy they are available on the store page at www.MonaMiller.com
E-mail your questions or Love stories or tragedies to Mona and
Call in 1-800-336-2225 to talk with Mona live
Sunday evening 7 - 8 p.m. PT / 10 - 11 p.m. ET
"TRUE LOVE" - Part 1: Understanding All Truths - from Invisible Warfare Book Chapter 9 - Air Date: 06-01-08
Thursday, May 29, 2008, 06:54 PM
You can find more information and tools in Chapter 9 of the Invisible Warfare book. If you don't own a copy they are available on the store page at www.MonaMiller.comTRUE LOVE
Truth = Self
Love = The understanding of the good, bad and ugly truths
So understanding, not judging our truths, are the first ingredients of True Love!
People often pray for their “true love” without knowing or telling the truth. How can we create something we are not practicing? Love with no truth creates selflessness and codependency; and truth without love creates selfishness and dominating control. These two power sources are hurtful, and sometimes dangerous, if separated. They are meant to be connected.
If having a self means knowing truth and having understanding means creating love, then understanding truth creates a self with love. If I have no self or love for me how can I give of myself, lovingly, to you? Notice I said give of myself, not give myself away or to you.
Pick the self you want to be! Selfish is of “high” ego, selfless is of “low” ego, and self-love is our balance in spirit. Your spirit versus your ego—pick!
An emotional person is not a feeling person. The emotional person is stuck in a feeling with no processing or understanding of his or her feelings. If you want to stay “stuck” using stubbornness as a way of having a strong self based on fear, war is your outcome, not love. Fear of judgment and self-beat will make anyone an emotional hostage.
Truth shows you your boundaries, while love understands all perceptions so that you won’t judge or take on and personalize issues and feelings that do not represent your truth. This is crucial to holding a center in upsetting situations and de-personalizing them.
If we were born to experience love we must experience its opposites— hurt, fear, anger, shame, guilt, lies, judgment, victimization, confusion, insanity, depression, obsessions, and addiction. To know cold, you must know heat! Life is all about understanding who you are by understanding who you are not!
Is Love enough?
No, Truth has to hook up too!
Truth is cold and Love is warm so they often repel.
So the trick is to Love the Truth and create from this!
Stubbornness thinks it’s a “good guy” giving you strength and power.
But the Truth is:
1. Being stubborn keeps fear alive.
2. Being stubborn allows no love or truth in.
3. Being stubborn keeps you self-beating and blaming.
4. Being stubborn means you have to be right, and creates pressure.
5. People who are stubborn have no understanding of different truths.
6. Being stubborn keeps you acting in egotistical ways.
7. Your egotistical ways will manifest in insecurity or arrogance.
8. When you’re stubborn, you block your inner child’s voice, memories and feelings, as well as your spirit’s intuition and ability “to know.”
9. A stubborn person doesn’t take the time to “check-in” with true thoughts and feelings.
10. Being stubborn is a survival skill! Processing is a living skill! Do you want to just survive, or live?
So now do you want to be stubborn and then try to make love?
The Rules of Self-Love
1. Want to love someone? Love yourself first.
2. No blaming your thoughts and feelings on others.
3. Take responsibility for yourself. Nobody owes you anything, including a living.
4. You can’t have clarity without sobriety.
5. Your goal is not to be right, it’s to understand.
6. Your goal is not to fight over points that are not the point. Do not engage in point/counterpoint.
7. Do not choose an “air-head” routine. Face the truth.
8. Own your role in any situation.
9. Know your weaknesses and embrace them. Only by loving them through understanding will you be able to even see them.
10. Don’t expect anyone to understand or accept your weaknesses before you do.
11. Learn to let go of control battles.
12. Don’t fight over “stupid” stuff.
13. Avoid telling others how and what to do.
14. Accept people for who and how they are.
15. Develop your sense of humor.
16. Learn not to shut down.
17. Share thoughts, feelings, and beliefs; they lead to intimacy.
18. Don’t save or protect others. Relationships should not be about rescuing and saving.
19. Don’t go down with the ship. Preserve yourself rather than a relationship.
20. Nobody is better or worse than anyone else.
21. Gossip does nobody any good.
22. Understand and set boundaries for yourself.
23. Understand the good, bad, and ugly truths of your loved one, with no attitude.
24. Love your truths first. Love yourself second. Love others third.
So join me Sunday and learn how to build from Truth and Love for True Love.
So How Do You Know Or Find Your “SELF”?
Need help identifying your “self”? Here’s a part of the chart to get you started, for the complete chart go to page 196 in the Invisible Warfare book.
PICK A SELF, ANY SELF!
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