I do not use the word "friend" loosely. It has real meaning to me. Many times in the past, I would pick as “friends” people who would judge me and put me down — energetically or verbally. I later learned that I chose this kind of person because this was how I spoke with myself — inside. Because I felt different, I would judge myself to death. So of course, that’s the kind of person I attracted.

I didn’t know how to love myself, so if someone loved me back I minimized it or even made fun of it. I was happy on the outside but sad on the inside. This was a very important time for me because eventually I realized, after my feelings got hurt enough, exactly what I was setting myself up for. Now, mind you, I don’t blame these people who hurt me. I’m sure my humor at the time taught them how to upset me, and I continually fed it and allowed it to happen.

Now I am learning what a friend my heart, my little girl and my soul all are. This is tricky in a different way.

A friend is someone open — non-judgmental — someone I can say anything to. I can make a mistake with a friend or hurt his or her feelings by accident and we can talk about it and understand, help each other grow, change and feel closer than we did before the upset.

This is how my friend Patrick and I are. We are both told that sometimes we can be intimidating. I guess because we can see ourselves as good, bad and ugly, therefore we can see others who are that way, too. Both Patrick and I are what I’d call “big personalities.” Being different — and so visible — is challenging. If only people understood that because we know ourselves, we wouldn’t hurt them by judging or condemning them intentionally, unless we awaken our inner judger and kill ourselves! And that hurts, so no, thank you, to doing this to anyone else if we can stop it before it starts. This doesn’t mean we are not capable of doing this. It simply means we will do our best to be open enough to catch it, understand and change, which makes us closer.

Just because I am speaking doesn't mean I understand me either! And guess what? That's okay, too. When you're listening and understanding, the next trick is to be empathetic. Patrick listens until he and I understand what I am saying. Patrick and I have known each other since we were teenagers at the School for Creative and Performing Arts (SCPA). We didn’t know it at the time, but we shared common life experiences. One of them was our jock brothers teasing us about being on the “special bus” or as my brother called it the SPCA (dog catcher) bus. We were – and are -- right-brain dominant artists, which in this life sometimes makes people think of you as “different.”

We went our separate ways back then and never saw each other again until almost 30 years later. We picked up right where we had left off, only this time we were older and understood ourselves as individuals. The intimacy (“into-me-I-see”) was instantaneous with him because we were no longer just kids with common backgrounds – we had both developed self-awareness.

Patrick is a love, a confidante as well as producer and orchestrator of my music. No, we were never lovers, girlfriend or boyfriend — just the best of friends who have always understood and accepted ourselves — and others — for who we are.

More about Patrick Gandy:

Patrick Gandy is a composer, pianist, conductor, orchestrator and musical director. He has worked on projects for such great artists as: Diana Ross, Yolanda Adams, Stevie Wonder, Mary J. Blige, James Ingram, Dianne Reeves, Jennifer Holliday, Patrice Rushen, George Duke, Seal, Carole Bayer Sager, Stephen Schwartz, David Foster, Marilyn McCoo, Debbie Allen, T.C. Carson, Robert Urich, Gerald Albright, and Sheryl Lee Ralph to name a few. He has composed and arranged music for the 2002 Rose Bowl, The National Symphony Orchestra, the Emmy Awards, the People’s Choice Awards, Touchstone Picture’s Ladder 49, Sony Pictures Entertainment’s White Chicks, the Fox television series Living Single and Half & Half, The Newsweek American Achievement Awards, television commercials for American Service Center, Tom McAnn Shoes, industrials for Infinity automobiles and a regional Emmy Award winning spot for Magnum P.I..

Patrick’s debut solo recording A Secret Part was released through Blair & Taylor Music, Inc. His conducting skills can be heard on the Grammy Award winning Dianne Reeves tribute recording to Sarah Vaughn entitled The Calling, Billy Child’s 2006 Grammy Award winning album entitled Lyric and Stevie Wonder’s latest recording A Time To Love, for which he also contributed a string orchestration. Patrick has produced and arranged records for new age artist John Boswell, gospel artist Patty Howard, and Mona Miller's 2007 double CD release entitled Something I've Gotta Trust; to accompany her two volume self help book entitled, Invisible Warfare . Patrick’s string and horn arrangements can also be heard on Jennifer Holliday’s debut Gospel recording entitled On and On.

He is currently working on a new film and compact disc recording of a live concert performance with full orchestra and guest solo artists entitled e-Factor (coming soon) www.ibals.com and putting the finishing touches on his new coffee-table book The Emancipation of Kinky Haired Girls and his urban opera, The Family.

Patrick lent his services to the national tour of the Broadway musical Dreamgirls and many other Broadway shows.

Musical study for Patrick began at The School for the Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati, Ohio. After graduation, Patrick attended the Eastman School of Music (Rochester, New York), studying piano under Blair Cosman and conducting under David Effron. To study piano under Santos Ojeda, Patrick moved to the College Conservatory of Music in Cincinnati, Ohio. He also studied at California Institute of the Arts and completed the composition, arranging and film scoring programs at the Grove School in Los Angeles.

Patrick has lent his talents to further many causes, most recently his own campaign to raise money and awareness to help those already afflicted with HIV and AIDS and to help quell the incidents of infection in all communities, especially in woman of color in the United States. His Silence Is Broken campaign is a song he premiered at the 2004 US AIDS Conference in Philadelphia, the 2005 National Minorities in Cable Awards and an episode of Soap Talk on the SOAPnet channel. Patrick will expand the campaign with the release of a documentary film he produced featuring profiles of women diagnosed with HIV. The song, sung by ABC Television’s One Life To Live co-star Renee Goldsberry, is available for download at www.thesilenceisbroken.com.

CITY KID, The Musical is a right of passage musical about today’s youth. Jimmy, the new kid, is anxious to be accepted by the crowd. He is drawn to and befriends Anna, making an enemy of Slick, the charismatic leader of the City Kids. As the conflict with Slick escalates, Jimmy finds himself trapped in a dangerous world, forced to make choices where the consequences are deadly. www.citykidthemusical.com Now playing at the Hudson Backstage Theatre. Located: 6539 Santa Monica Boulevard, Hollywood, CA 90038

Hey! Is anyone seeing what's going on with our kids and teens? If we are drinking and smoking and doing drugs, how do we stop them? Where is a role model? Do they all have to go to jail before we wake up? Can Britany Spears, Nicole Richie and Michael Jackson be our teachers of where we need help today?

We are growing in technology but what about our emotional quotient (the EQ)? If the Intelligent quotient (the IQ), grows at a faster rate than our emotional and intuitive side, won't we self destruct, maybe like the myth of Atlantis? How many times have cultures self destructed from high development of ingenuity, and thrown themselves out of balance, swallowed up by the dangers of high ego and power, replacing the concept of spirit and imploding from powerfulness versus empowerment?

We need to develop programs not just for ourselves but for our children and teens as well. I have a non profit company that is currently developing programs to teach all age groups a way to self process to better understand the subconscious mind to the conscious mind called "Communication in Human Behavior".

But imagine my excitement when I heard of a program that has begun to teach kids, teens, adults to self process spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically!

This program is called.................... INSIGHT SEMINARS! and my guest this week is the Youth Development Director of Insight Seminars................... KELLEY ROGERS!

Kelley has a B.A. in Interdisciplinary Studies from the University of Missouri-Columbia and working on her M.S.S. this upcoming year.

We will be talking about how to develop:
Self esteem
Communication
Family Relationships
How to step out of comfort zones
Empowerment
Increasing Motivation
Inner strength
Peer pressure
Uncovering Fears, doubts and habitual limiting beliefs and behaviors
Self Acceptance

So please join us for the introduction of not repeating the past and learn about yourself and your children.


Check out Insight Seminars:
www.insightseminars.org
www.youtube.com and search Teen Insight

Kelley Rogers
Youth Development Director
Insight Seminars
(310) 315-9733 x 223

The Youth Insight Seminars provide a loving, supportive environment that allows teens to share, express themselves and really discuss issues that are important to them. Insight facilitators are highly trained individuals that put a lot of time and energy into each seminar to give the youth the best possible opportunity to grow, learn and expand.

As a result, teen graduates have stated that they see themselves as intelligent, confident, beautiful, capable and loving beings. Many have also stated that they see ways to make wiser decisions and take responsibility for their actions. Parents have witnessed the positive changes in family relationships, relationships with peers and how their teen deals with the pressures of school and peer pressure. They also report their teens are demonstrating more respect for authority and are being more accepting of themselves and others instead of judging.

This week I am welcoming on my show a different kind of performance. One that has recently been release on DVD that takes bravery and commitment called “Dottie’s Magic Pockets”. It is about showing love for children and families who come from same sex and transgender homes. Bigotry is a judgment of differences that cause deep hurt and keeps us un-evolved as a community. It is the differences that make us grow and see outside of our box. Nature is a reflection of our human nature. Look around and truly see how many differences in nature there are. But notice how nature doesn't judge itself, it just is.

So I embrace and welcome the production company Pink Pea and the show “Dottie's Magic Pockets”. This is the first children’s show available on DVD for same sex and transgender families and traditional homes as well. I hope we can love and understand our personal and global differences and grow peacefully as a whole.
The lead of this show is actress and friend, Jen Plante (Dottie). As the star of "Dottie's Magic Pockets," Jen Plante draws on her superb acting and comedic skills to bring the lovable and zany "Dottie" to life, creating a memorable, warm character millions of children can relate to.

Jen has performed extensively on stage both in New York and in Los Angeles as well as in productions in London, Berlin, Paris, and Romania. Jen's film credits include an appearance in the feature film Dead & Breakfast as well as numerous short films. She has also performed standup, improv and sketch comedy.
Jen is a graduate of Tufts University and received an MFA in Acting from Columbia University.

When I was young, there was still segregation going on between whites and blacks. I had many African American friends from the Performing Arts High School. It broke my heart to watch their fear. They didn't walk by me when we were by the side of the road for fear someone would run me down for walking next to them.
They brought their own wash cloths in case my mom had a problem with their colored skin on our towels. “You have got to be kidding me.” I said to them. But it was real.

This group of kids was some of the most talented people I had ever met. I didn't see color and couldn't understand this behavior. Then one day I went to my church to book us as a singing group and the church knew I could sing and said of course. When they found out most of the kids in the ensemble were black, they came to me and said, "we are so sorry we didn't realize we had another booking at the same time". Luckily my mom did not see color and went to the church threatening all kinds of things regarding the pulling away of money and support which made the church rethink. When the kids sang I promise you those voices would transcend you and there was no color.

In fact, in a couple of weeks on the show, Patrick Gandy, the producer, composer, and orchestrator of many television episodes, Broadway productions and my album, will be on the show and yes he was one of those kids from that school, and what would I do without him.

"Dottie's Magic Pockets"

Written by Tammy Stoner, directed by Andrea Maxwell, and starring Jen Plante, "Dottie's Magic Pockets" invites children, ages 3-8, to enter the fun-filled world of "Dottie."

When Dottie pulls magic glitter from the pockets of her new sweater — "Viola!" Her home is transformed from its typical suburban bore into a zany funhouse filled with a gaggle of whimsical characters. Episodes of the show will offer images and content that reflects the lives of children with gay parents.

Pink Pea

Pink Pea is a new independent production company formed in 2007 by Tammy Stoner, Andrea Maxwell, Kathleen Latlip and Wayne M. DeSelle. Pink Pea is dedicated to developing programming that represents the fabulous diversity of non-traditional families.
The number of children in non-traditional families is growing every day! According to the 2000 US Census (the most current data available), one-third of female partner households and one-fifth of male partner households in America have children. However, to-date children's programming for these families has not been available.

Pink Pea is committed changing that and to providing vital social and emotional support to these millions of children through the creation of high quality, positive images that they can relate to. Pink Pea will use this vision and its more than 65 years of combined experience to guide its creative programming, offering an attractive business model in a growing market.

More information:
www.pinkpea.com
www.dottiesmagicpockets.com

Everyone has mood swings. Sometimes it shows on the outside, other times it sits in the inside. How important is it to understand our mood swings? Why do we feel we need medication for solace?

How does the brain and body chemistry work regarding nutritional needs? Hormonal balance means what? If PMS is hormonal, what does that mean? How does the body, mind and feelings work together?

If you beat yourself up everyday you will have mood swings and these beat ups are usually perceptions, not necessarily the truth. How does that affect your heart, body, mind, relationships and careers? Physically check how you use chocolate, wine & other alcohol, marijuana or any drug legal or otherwise for relief from mood swings and memories.

Drug companies have been aware of our chemical balance and have been making drugs to boost our emotions without us needing to use self processing skills or make nutritional changes. How does this affect us? How are we in the long run? Can nutritional changes with emotional processing skills change ourselves from the inside out?

How do amino acids work? What is serotonin and how does it really work? What are endorphins? What causes anger and fear and how does it affect your mind and body chemistry? Does your sleep affect your moods? What’s a true feeling and an insanity feeling?

What does sugar do? Is it a liar food? Does the liar/denier inside of us create mood swings too? Are your moods like your other family members? Is it genetic? Do you feel stuck with no hope of a way out? Genetic programming can be reprogrammed mentally, emotionally & physically with amino acids and other nutrients and mental and emotional processing skills.

People 100 years ago seemed a lot happier with a lot less, why? Heart disease, cancer and depression were less in the past too. Let’s see why. Join me for this intriguing awareness this Sunday, October 7, 2007 at 9:30 a.m. pacific time and 12:30 p.m. east coast time on CRN Digital Talk Radio, www.crni.net


Book References:
Invisible Warfare by Mona Miller
The Mood Cure by Julia Ross
For Amino Acid and other supplements and info:
www.moodcure.com
Or call Recovery Systems, Julia Ross's Clinic: 415-383-3611