As we started to talk about last Sunday regarding what the holiday's can be; Celebratory or Painful, I thought it apropos to talk about how religion can affect our personal spirituality if you are not allowed to "check-in" with yourself for fear of upsetting the people and loved one's around you and yes, maybe even getting disowned. These threats are what we call Invisible Warfare! You are now being held Emotionally Hostage and your intuition, your inner self love and truth voice has been pushed so far down you are lost in a trance of forced belief systems surrounding you.

How do the Holiday's bring up God or Spirituality in an inspiring creative way of deep love and truth and how does God or Spirituality get brought in, in a dark and disturbing way or a meaningful and nurturing way? Can you be strong enough to walk away; lovingly, while holding on to your truth inside? Can you not condemn others who are still in this mind set or judge them back?

In the next few weeks we are going to address Holidays in many different ways. How do religion, traumas, and beliefs affect us during the Holidays? Holidays, holy days can have very heightened feelings and therefore manifest stronger feelings, coupled with a barrage of memories. Learning how to process is never more important than now.

This week we have Brenda Lee speaker and author of the book Out Of The Cocoon, A Young Woman's Courageous Flight from the Grip of a Religious Cult. Brenda will share her own heart wrenching, yet inspiring experience about her battle to escape from a religious cult after enduring decades of dysfunction and abuse.

A cult means group. So when and how does the word cult get a fearful energy on top of it? Is the fear about not being able to leave and have a free choice to think, feel and believe from the depths of your own soul? What if you must follow blindly what the masses say and believe or be excommunicated, shamed or punished? Is that Loving or Spiritual? And just because many call this having Faith … is that right?

Please join us in welcoming the author of Out Of The Cocoon and speaker Brenda Lee .

CHECK BELOW FOR A SPECIAL OFFER FROM BRENDA LEE

ABOUT BRENDA LEE: Brenda Lee graduated with honors from Barnes Business College in Denver, Colorado, after successfully completing business and legal courses. Early on, she began her love of writing through journaling and as the editor of her high school’s creative writing project entitled, “Special Feelings.” She is an active member of the Foothills Writers’ group in Colorado. Brenda also produces and edits an internationally distributed newsletter to help former cult members take flight. Today she joyfully embraces every moment with her son and two dogs, relishing her life Out of the Coco on.

At this very moment, there are millions of cult members worldwide. Do you think you could never become one of them? Think again.

Brenda Lee has written a heart wrenching, yet inspiring tale about her battle to escape from a religious cult after enduring decades of dysfunction and abuse. The story begins at the pinnacle of the author’s desperation, by relaying a chilling fantasy she created when she was just twelve years old. To understand Brenda’s fragile emotional state, we have to go back to the beginning.

In subsequent chapters, the author transports the reader back in time to relive her childhood innocence. When “The Friends” knock on the door, her life is turned upside down. But Brenda Lee refuses to become a victim and, like a butterfly, she learns to change the world within her when her external world becomes unbearable. In time, she learns to forgive not only those who tormented her, but also the mother who disowned her.

This book will inspire anyone who has experienced abuse, alcoholism, single parenthood, serious depression, or a parent’s rejection. Brenda Lee’s story will take you from the depths of despair to the highest mountain, cast you off, and show you how to spread your wings and fly.

“Out of the Cocoon is a powerful and touching account of one young woman’s journey to freedom from repression and religious intolerance. I picked it up one evening and couldn’t stop reading until I was finished late that night. It will hold you like a compelling paperback novel and touch you on the deeper levels of spiritual freedom and growth.” — Steve Chandler, Author of Reinventing Yourself

“Out of the Cocoon is a story about the damage a cult can do to a loving family, and shows the long-lasting ripple effect that can affect a child later in life. Courage to go against the current comes from deep inside a person when it would be much easier to go with the flow. Brenda Lee is one of those who have shown such courage. Like the young man David who picked up three stones and slung them at the giant, Goliath, Brenda Lee chose to pick up her pen to shatter the Watchtower's image, just as it tried to shatter hers. I applaud her courage, and her strength to discover the person she truly is—against all odds.” — Roy Milton, Author of Truth or Consequences


SPECIAL OFFER FROM BRENDA LEE:

Anyone who purchases an autographed book of Out Of The Cocoon ($14.95) through Brenda’s web site www.OutOfTheCocoon.net will receive, a complimentary 1-year subscription to Brenda Lee’s quarterly newsletter, COCOON, via email, beginning January 2008. The newsletter is thought-provoking with many articles written by experts or former cult survivors, a $20 value, your gift with purchase. Just type Mona Miller Show Offer in Paypal’s comments section when paying for your purchase.

I wanted to kick off the holiday season with a show regarding the Celebration and Pain of Holiday's hopefully creating new beginnings with the understanding of "time travel" triggers of hurts or fears from the past and/or present and happy ones as well.

Guess what? Just 10 min. ago I received an air out on my 24 hour hot-line of someone feeling so depressed already at the thought of the Holidays not knowing what to do to create something when her family is not here. It is the day before Thanksgiving. This is the beginning of the hot-line blowing up with calls. We can create anything if we are not still living in the pain from the past. If we are wishing for something that absolutely can not be like; bringing back someone who has passed on, which is not a real possibility and therefore creating a hollow pain and depression? We must work with "what is" not with "what is not" possible. There are ways to feel our pain and recover only to be able to love and celebrate deeper if done spiritually.

A Holiday to many parts of the world means holy-day. It eventually meant special days of rest or vacation.

Many times children can get confused and even angry because parents, friends and family are of different religions, beliefs and philosophies. If you are of a belief that says there is only one way to believe you can create great pain and conflict.

What does Holiday mean to you?
What do you remember that is positive or upsetting about a holiday?
How does this affect you in present time?
What is your wish? Can you find a way to create it?
Is love important for a holiday? If so; how is it about love and how is it not about love?
Are Holidays about obligations for you? If so; how?

If Codependency is about love without truth or boundaries and Being Mean is regarding truth without love then how are the Holidays about understanding and changing this dynamic?

We can break tradition and we can keep parts of tradition. It's all a choice! Can you be loving as you break a tradition by telling a truth or set a boundary and let someone be angry or upset with you and not be reactive? Let them have their feelings without you being angry back. Give them time and hold a center of understanding. Remember a feeling is not necessarily a fact.

Feel free to write me your Holiday experiences celebratory or abusive and let's share, understand and grow at info@monamiller.com!

You Can Create a true and new experience if you understand the concepts in this weeks show.

Happy Holidays for Deep, New and Loving Experiences.
Mona

Last week we ran out of time talking with Tim Gandy about our Financial Realm. There were several calls still on the line when the show ended (don’t worry we were able to take care of them off air) so we are bringing Tim back this Sunday to answer more of your money questions.

If you have questions that you would like Mona or Tim to cover, please e-mail them to info@monamiller.com

Great news ... Tim will be back once a quarter to check in with us on how our Financial Realm is doing so stay tuned.

Before the show you can review chapter 12 in the Invisible Warfare book and don’t forget exercise #3: FOR POWER AND MONEY. You can find the excercise on the right hand side under Links.

Learn and listen to my guest, financial advisor and branch manager of a major Wall Street firm, Tim Gandy on how your money is a relationship to you inside and out.

What’s interesting about the financial realm is how spiritual it really is. There are two ways of looking at the world: I’ll never have enough, or I have it all and I am very grateful. A feeling of never having enough comes from past fears that are projected into the future; a feeling of having it all and being grateful is based on faith and comes from the present.

People who feel grateful and full have faith that things will always work out. They believe that they are enough inside. The earth does not dictate who they are, or what they do. They can process anything because of their ability to be compassionate and understood inside. These people do not believe life and struggles are about punishment. Life is meant to be experienced for wisdom, not judgment. There is enough of everything for everyone. Are you one of them? Or do you expect the worst? Be aware of your self-fulfilling prophecy. Your psyche does not judge, so if you believe in poverty you have a shot of being it or feeling it, even if it’s not true. People who place their financial realm among the top five of their realms are not prepared for financial success or failure internally! They have moved the financial realm up a few notches precisely because they are afraid to see, feel and own truths based on hurts and insecurities. What does success and failure mean to you? Hint: The only thing you can take with you—is you.

Here are the six realms. They were put in the following order for balance, which we will discuss further.

1. Spiritual: Truth, Love, Creation, Empowerment
2. Mental: Thoughts, Logic and Rationale
3. Emotional: Feelings (past, present, and future)
4. Physical: Body and Animal Energy
5. Sexual: Gender, Sexuality
6. Financial: Powerful and Powerless Struggles

Your turn! List the order in which you value your realms:
1. _________________________________________
2. _________________________________________
3. _________________________________________
4. _________________________________________
5. _________________________________________
6. _________________________________________

Are your realms “in sync” with the previous order?

Whatever you resist persists!

When Spiritual is your first realm, truth and love are your first checkins. If you want to lose the feeling of insanity, create from truth and love! Your sense of self comes from within you, not from outside you. This means your power is operating from the place of empowerment. Your ability to “check-in” with your soul and inner child creates a centered confidence, and a life that is not thrown off by anything or anyone outside you.

If Financial is your first realm, your power and low- and high-ego are your first check-ins. Your life consists of domination, and the fear of being dominated. This is both a powerful and powerless struggle. If your ego is holding your center, your focus is on your and others’ perceptions of being important. Everything becomes about what you have, what you have accomplished, and what you own. If you are focused on finances or success and you’re on the powerless side of the struggle because you haven’t “made it” yet, your self-talk is a strong self-beat topped with self-pity and defensive behavior. Are you fighting a helpless/hopeless state of mind? Ego, either powerful or powerless, is full of insecure and/or arrogant self-talk that has been programmed into your subconscious mind from the past. These voices are the gods or guides controlling the decisions you make to steer your life.

It is said, “It is easier to drive a camel through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.” That may have meant that someone in ego, focused on money and power, cannot find inner peace. Inner peace comes from the power of self-empowerment. Isn’t inner peace what heaven represents? Could it be this power struggle is our teacher on what not to do, so we know what to do? If power becomes our foundation of importance, then feeding our ego is a must. If you are experiencing this power struggle, how does your stomach feel? Can you sleep at night? Do you get headaches? Do you experience anxiety disorder?

So the difference between choosing the spiritual and the financial as your first realm is the difference between living on a powerful/powerless see-saw and living on an internally and externally balanced form of empowerment. You can create an entirely different life, just by rearranging these two realms!

UNDERSTAND:
- Your income: gross and net income
- Your healthy debit – tax deductible (mortgages, student loans, investments, etc.),
- Your unhealthy debit – non-tax deductible (credit card balances not paid off each month, over spending, unaffordable vacations/trips etc.).

Here is an example of a person whose realms are scrambled and, therefore, out of balance. Is this you, or someone you know?

An Out-of-Balance But Possibly Outwardly Successful Person: If you put your financial realm first, you can obsess about having or not having money and possessions. The goal is being important. Being powerful is getting respect. Dominating and controlling others means protection and safety. If money and power is all-important, truth and love will be sacrificed.

Why study our personal histories? Why study our business histories? Well, let’s see what was learned and prevented from the study of 1929 financial crash.

Back in 1929 there were virtually no safeguards in place to protect investors from a precipitous drop in the market (market "circuit breakers" have since been installed). Banks could own whatever they wanted and did (investment firms, insurance companies etc), there was no FDIC, SIPC or Muni insurance and the FED was no where near as powerful. The Glass-Steagall Act prevented banks from owning investment firms among other things. Strict guidelines have since been enacted governing ratios of deposits vs. loans on the balance sheets of banks as well as a mountain of legislation all designed to protect the public from Wall Street. insolvency and malfeasance. Hence the SIPC (Securities Investment Protection Corporation), whose insurance all investment firms are required to carry in order to do business. SIPC protects each and every account up to a limit against theft or insolvency by the investment firm.

Let’s go to our pasts in every realm and study what we have learned Spiritually, Mentally, Emotional, Physical, Sexual, and Financial - good, bad and ugly. Because change comes with our understanding and creative preventions!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After the Show

You can go to the to the Realms, Chapter 12, in the book (page 257) and in the workbook go to Transformation #3, Finding Blance in Our Realms (page 364).

Do you want to learn more about your relationship with Power and Money? Go to the links and do Exercise #3 - For Power and Money.

For more detailed explanations of technical financial words and ideas such as S&P 500, NASDAQ, Bonds, Stocks, Annuities, Estate Planning, Living Trust, Why save for Retirement, etc. check out Financial & Technical Word Explanations under Links.


Here are two great books on Financial Freedom:

Suze Orman’s "Nine Steps to Financial Freedom" In this practical guide, a certified financial planner explores the psychological underpinnings of debt-inducing behavior, examines the power of money over both professional and personal choices, and provides tips on money management. Sharing everyday cost-saving recommendations and retirement planning advice, the author emphasizes that financial empowerment translates to all aspects of life.


The Richest Man in Babylon by George Samuel Clason A book which dispenses financial advice through a collection of parables set in ancient Babylon. Through their experiences in business and managing household finance, the characters in the parables learn simple lessons in financial wisdom. By basing these parables in ancient times, but involving situations that modern people can understand and identify with, the author presents these lessons as timeless wisdom that is as relevant today as it was back then.


Tim Gandy is a Financial Advisor and Branch Manager with a major Wall Street firm. He has been in the business 14 years specializing in wealth management. Tim was born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. Number five of six boys (no girls). I have had some type of paying job since age 11. I enjoyed having my own money. Joined the Navy at 18 served 10 years and have lived in California since 1987. BS in Business with an emphasis in accounting from the University of LaVerne. I have worked as a financial advisor since 1994, the last seven years of my career in management. I got into this business because I love people and I love what money can do when used properly. Married, two kids 17 and 19 one of each. Two step kids 22 and 26 one of each. I enjoy helping people realize their financial goals. When people come to me to create a financial plan one of my favorite questions is: "If money was not an issue, what would you do every day?" When people come to me saying they want to make money I always ask, "...to do what with?" The answers to both questions yield a tremendous insight as to what money really means to these people.

I am welcoming my clients; Carol Sutherland (mom), Jay Dunitz (dad) and 16 year old Cody (daughter) we'll miss Mikaela (daughter) as she was unavailable at college. They have all faced these fires twice. We are here to talk about their experiences and how it affected and changed their lives. This will be quite a show emotionally. Join us in our understanding and support of each other.

The California fires are a today's hurt. Yesterday's hurts from Mother Nature were tsunamis, volcanos, hurricanes and tornados.............etc. It is Mother Nature adjusting herself. It has been happening since the beginning of time. No, it is not for us to create a problem on top of a problem. No one is being punished for being bad; it is not for us to say it is the end of the world, assuming we are the only world. It is life and life is an experience and just like the show # 12 on the inner child and PTS (post traumatic syndrome) with Lisa Douthit, this is another type of trauma.

If we do not talk about it, understand and set up preventions for ourselves we will go from living to surviving. This is what happens to our military when they come back from war. The brain has at least 23 subliminals per second running through it. So just a smell, a tree, someone's eyes can remind our brains of what happened from the past and bring the memory forward again and all those same feelings from that past moment which laid dormant, awaken and we are back in that moment acting as if that was true for today. Take a breath. These big feelings are called triggers. This is when we feel crazy because the feelings may or may not fit for today. You may feel crazy but you are not. You are in the past and present at the same time. Breathe and rinse. (You’ll find under Links on the right hand side the Exercise –Feeling Rinse Paper, print it out and do the exercise when this happens if you do not have the book Invisible Warfare)

Although all your feelings and thoughts may not be true today, because you feel something makes it real and needs to be respected and processed. That is why self processing is sooooooooo important because you can't always control memories and time travels from the subconscious. To rid yourself of these triggers and big feelings you need a lobotomy or a self process.

If ignored, we will disassociate or disconnect. Can you find your survival mode from any traumas small or big and find out what happened? See chapter 11 Time Travel and page 246 for the PTS information in Invisible Warfare and Transformation #2 page 341 in the Invisible Warfare, the Special Edition Workbook.

These experiences create a bonding. Trauma and upsets pull out a part of us that may have never been touched upon without this experience. It can be life changing if we do not fall victim to it in our minds. If you get stuck in a victim mode that affects all of your decisions in a victim way and joy can not be an outcome down the road. When you get stuck in fear you can no longer live only survive. So talk about it and grow internally as well as externally.

I usually teach, study the past, stay present and let the future take care of itself. In trauma situations or triggers I teach you to look to the future, set boundaries and preventions for the future and celebrate everything you are learning in present time for internal strength. This way you are turning traumas into wisdom which is the way the upsets have amazing worth.

For more information on Carol Sutherland, PhD, Life Coach specializing in Midlife Transformation, please visit: www.midlifejourneys.com

Check out these helpful sites - Great before, during and after Disasters:

FEMA: If you are in a disaster area call 1-800-621-FEMA (3362) / 1-800-462-7585 (TTY) or on-line at www.fema.gov

FEMA has an in-depth on-line guide called Are You Ready?: “The guide provides a step-by-step approach to disaster preparedness by walking the reader through how to get informed about local emergency plans, how to identify hazards that affect their local area, and how to develop and maintain an emergency communications plan and disaster supplies kit. Other topics covered include evacuation, emergency public shelters, animals in disaster, and information specific to people with disabilities.” Available to download free from FEMA’s web site. http://www.fema.gov/areyouready/

American Red Cross: All American Red Cross disaster assistance is free, made possible by voluntary donations of time and money from the American people. American Red Cross help the victims of thousands of disasters across the country each year, disasters like the California wildfires, by providing shelter, food, counseling and other assistance to victims of disaster. www.redcross.org.
-Safe and Well an American Red Cross Safe and Well Website: . A great way to let family and friends know you are okay if you find yourself in a disaster area. It is also a great resource to find out if someone you know in a disaster area is okay. Concerned family and friends can search the list of those who have registered themselves as “safe and well.” The results of a successful search will display a loved one’s First Name, Last Name, an “As of Date”, and the “safe and well” messages selected. https://disastersafe.redcross.org/

San Diego DA Warns of Potential Charity Scams & Price Gouging after the Disaster: Click on link under Links to read the warning and where to go to check out a charity before giving.

City of Malibu’s web site has some great information: (Links to these are to the right under Links)
Don’t Get Scammed After a Disaster:- An article on what to watch out for and where to go if you are.
Emergency Preparedness Checklists: 10 Essential Actions, Supplies and Items you’ll need.
Earthquakes, Fires, and Landslides: This link will take you a page with info on what to do before and during wildfires, How to be fire wise at home, Earthquake Preparedness, and information about landslides.

Check your local city and state agencies to see what disaster preparedness assistance and tools they have in your area before you need them.